Juggling Big Life Changes and Homeschool

Pam: Are you ready for homeschooling to feel joyful again?

Do you long for support as you learn alongside your kids?

Welcome to Homeschool Better Together,

a podcast about building a homeschool experience that works for your family.

I’m Pam Barnhill and it’s time to step out of the overwhelm and in to the wonder.

Let’s do this.

Tracey Matney is a work from home mom too, and she’s homeschooling her 8 year old son all the way from like prek.

And now she’s doing that while chasing a 14 month old baby. The last couple of years have been a whirlwind for her, for her family. They’ve been displaced from their home while a new one was being built.

They had to have a home birth at somebody else’s home because they weren’t in their own house, which is just crazy. They moved with a two week old and then they needed the two week old needed open heart surgery at four months old.

So, like Tracey,

everything has been absolutely crazy for you. Homeschooling has looked different in each season, but like, you’re finding your stride, you’re staying flexible, you’re committed, and you’re learning to let go of perfectionism.

And welcome to the podcast. It is so good to have you.

Tracey: Thank you. People always say you’ve been through a lot and I’m like, yeah, when you read all that back, I’m like, yeah, I kind of have, I guess.

Pam: Right. And when I reached out to you, you’re like, oh, we were displaced because of a fire, but it wasn’t like the most recent round of fires. This was a couple years ago, right?

Tracey: No, it was in September, so it was, it was not the LA fires. We’re like an hour from that. So this, this fire was an arsonist and it was 0.4 miles from our brand new house.

Oh. And we evacuated for five days. Luckily it burned 50,000 acres of forest,

but it didn’t burn any homes. The firefighters protected all the homes, but the air quality was awful. And so with a baby who has heart condition and it was like, it was crazy.

So definitely homeschooled in a lot of different places in the last two years for sure.

Pam: And under like duress. I mean, seriously, there was just a lot of stress and major life things. It wasn’t just that you were kind of moving around because of things. It was like there were a lot of stressful situations.

Tracey: I mean, not even adding the baby, like pretend like I, you know, hadn’t even thought about her Yet I was pregnant with her and I was so excited. But then our landlord asked us to move out.

That’s what happened is she was like, hey, I’m going to be selling the house.

So, you know, she gave us like two months. So like we had to look for a house and the rent prices in California are crazy. So we were like, okay, we’ve been married at this point like 12, 13 years.

12 years. So we’re like, let’s just buy a house. So then we started that whole process and so we bought a new build, but then it got delayed. It was supposed to be ready.

So we were only supposed to live with in laws for like a month or two that turned into six months. So we lived in various different places because, you know, hopefully the end of the month.

But that was crazy. Yes, I was definitely gonna have a home birth. But I was like, yeah, I’ll be able to have a home birth because she’s due. She was born December 26th.

So I was like, you know, the house will be ready in September. That’s plenty of time to nest.

No, because the house wasn’t ready till January. So luckily I had a beautiful friend who also homeschools and has home births and she’s like, you can just live in my back house and birth a baby there.

So that was a beautiful experience.

But definitely homeschooling through all of that. Like at my in laws who don’t really support homeschooling at like we were house sitting for people from our church because I just didn’t want to be at that house.

I was like, hey, anyone need a house sitter? So like we went and stayed at other people’s houses for three weeks and you know, so setting up our homeschool space in various places really helped me,

I guess, do the main things, like the most important things, like our Bible study, we’ve prioritized that like language arts and math. And then everything else just kind of fell into place, you know.

Pam: Right. I love that so much. Okay, so that was my question. How did you manage to keep going through it all? And you’re like, you made the main things the main thing.

I think Sarah McKenzie, that’s one of the things she says. And so not from her.

Yes, yes. And so you did your, you did your Bible study every day, you did your language arts and you did your math. And honestly, that is the heart of what any 7 year old needs,

you know, are those things right there. And then everything else really is just gravy. And you can do a lot of things with Libra books and with games and just, you know, reading and all of that stuff.

Before we started recording, you had said that your husband had read the Magician’s Nephew with your son.

Tracey: Yeah, they always read at night and they, they’re. They’re going through all the Chronicles of Narnia.

So it’s fun to just. Like, we do a lot of read alouds. Ever since he was like, born, you know, we read, we’ve read to him. And so he loves to read.

And now he’s like, he’s eight, eight and a half. And he’s reading like fourth or fifth grade level. Because I think we’ve read to him so much that now, like, now that,

by the way, now that he can read,

homeschooling is so much easier. Teaching a child to read is so hard. But now that he can read,

like, he can do so much more independent work. So that was one other thing that I think helped us through it is we switched up our math curriculum. So I went.

I did a different one for TK In California, they call it tk. It’s basically kindergarten, but a little early. Cause his birthday is September, so he’s a little bit young for that grade.

So we did a year, two years of kindergarten, basically. And we did a couple different math things. But now we use Beast Academy.

And it’s an online, but it’s for gifted kids in math. And he’s just so good at math. But I love that it, like, it teaches them and it’s a little comic book.

And so he can sit down and do his math now. And so I’m kind of like screen free as much as possible.

But when it comes to certain things in this season where I have an infant and now she’s a toddler toddling around everywhere, I can be like, here’s your assignments.

Go sit down and do it. You know, like, we do fix it grammar from Iew.

And he has his little grammar thing so he can like open up. It says day three. He knows to write the date, and he can just do his language arts and his math independently.

And of course I check it and we do it together,

some of it. But most of the time it’s like our time together is on the other stuff, you know, like story of the world. We use that for history and sitting down and like listening to the stories and discussing it, you know, or doing like a science experiment.

I. I learned many times not to just let him do that independently. Those don’t usually work out.

So those are the things that I make sure that, like, I’m eyeball to eyeball with him on,

you know, but certain things, like,

you know, I. I think learning, independence and autonomy is a really important skill, especially in, like, the way our culture runs. And so he’s only eight, so I. I have to have some grace there with some of it.

Pam: Oh, 100%, yeah.

Tracey: But I. That’s been a huge skill. Especially he has pretty severe adhd. And so having him be able to focus for a time period is a pretty big win.

So.

Pam: I love it. I love it. Okay, so how did you decide what was the most important thing to focus on during these different seasons of homeschooling, especially in times where you had to scale back?

Tracey: Well, I mean, our faith is. Is key. I mean, when. When we’re off on our Bible study, when we haven’t been spending time together as a family,

those.

Everything gets messy. And I noticed that, like, when we as a family do our morning time together,

everything else works better. My husband and I both own our own businesses, and they’re totally separate, different businesses. Like, mine’s a remote marketing agency. His is like a brick and mortar board game store.

And so his hours are kind of different because, you know, it’s a retail store. So he’s open in the evening. So we don’t have a lot of, like, family dinner time together.

We. We set those aside. Like, we have two nights a week that we’re, like, committed to being home for family dinner. But it doesn’t work well in the evenings. But our morning is like, we’ve gotta be together.

Cause otherwise we’re not gonna see each other. It’s like ships in the night. And I don’t want it to be like that. So for me, it’s like the morning, like, having breakfast together.

Doing our family Bible study has been really important for that. So then that even became like, reading. You know, I was part of a. A women’s Bible study.

And it acts like they have a kids class too,

and the kids have their own book. So we were going through the book of Revelation,

which was, like, a little intense to do with little kids. You.

So, like, we were going. The women were going through Revelations. We had our own homework. And then he had his own homework too.

I didn’t even do mine. Like, I just. Like, I did not do mine because I just did it with him. So, like, it was like asking the questions. It had him underline and circle things.

And so he was getting language arts because he’s reading, he’s circling, he’s under Understanding, it’s comprehension questions. And then he’s getting his Bible at the same time,

and we’re getting family time. So to me, like, that was the core piece of everything.

And then, of course, like,

the core main subjects are reading, writing, arithmetic, you know.

Pam: Right.

Tracey: It’s like. I think I just kind of knew that, but. Yeah. Yeah.

Pam: So homeschooling with a newborn is hard.

Tracey: I would say the newborn was easier than now, to be honest.

Pam: Oh. Oh, okay. So, yes. You have just opened a can of worms. I have always said that, like, everybody’s like, oh, my gosh, I’m about to have a baby this first year.

It’s going to be horrible. And I’m like,

no, no, no, no, no. The second year is going to be horrible. The first year is just going to be hard.

Tracey: Right.

Pam: But once you start moving.

Tracey: Right.

That was hard. I think it’s harder now that she’s walking because she’s into everything. So when she was a baby, I could just be, like, holding her. I could wear her.

I could just, like, be nursing her and talking to him. She napped so much more,

you know.

Now it’s like she’s transitioning from two naps to one nap. So thank goodness, like, we scheduled this when she’s napping right now.

And my husband’s here working from home today, so I’m like, if she wakes up, you gotta go get her. But it’s like, to trying to coordinate, like, the timing of everything has been tricky, I think, with a.

With more of a toddler. So that’s definitely harder, which I’m kind of in the throes of that. But again, keeping the main things important,

and then everything else just kind of falls in place. Like.

Like, we don’t do science and history all at the same time. We don’t do five subjects a day, you know, like. And that’s. I think I’ve had to release that because I’m a type A straight A student.

My mom was a kindergarten teacher up until my brothers were born. And. And then, like, so I was very much like, okay, this is how it should be. So, like, it’s been a process of, I guess, deschooling and, yeah.

Like, being like, you know what? Education is actually a lot different than I thought.

And as an entrepreneur now, I’m like, I don’t even know if my son’s gonna go to college. Like, normal college. Like, I look at this and I go,

man, he’s eight, 10 years from now and he’s 18.

College is going to look so Much different.

And I think like, for my generation, it was like, college is the only answer. Like, you have to go to college. If you don’t go to college, like, what are you going to do?

But it’s like nowadays with the everything with AI coming out and like, I use AI a lot in my business. I use it in homeschooling. It’s like things are going to look so much different for college ten years from now.

So I’m like, what are the practical skills that he needs to know? Time management,

cooking, like taking care of his sister. He put her down for her nap yesterday.

Pam: Aw.

Tracey: I’m like, Cause I had a lady coming to my house to like, look at some plants, things we’re planting in our yard. And like, those are things that I think you can’t learn in a normal school environment.

And so it’s like, yes, he needs to learn how to spell mostly, but his spelling is terrible. He’s awful speller. So I’m like, there’s spell check,

you know, like, some things I think are important and some things are not. So I don’t know, I think that that’s probably been my biggest thing is just releasing all this stress of it all and just going,

it’s going to be okay because he’s thriving. Like, he’s doing really well with his friendships. Like, that is huge. Like, being able to communicate with other people. He had a lemonade stand and made like over a hundred dollars.

You know, it’s like, oh, that’s awesome. Yeah. He was like running up and down the street. He was like negotiating. He was like, hey, I can add strawberries for an extra dollar.

Like, so those are the things. Like, he’s going to do fine in life, you know, and he doesn’t necessarily need to have a perfectly written paragraph. No.

Pam: Right. Okay,

hold on. Like, we got to get back to the nugget though. Not only did you have a baby,

you had a baby who had heart surgery at 4 months old.

So how did that come, like, was there ever a moment where you were like,

I’m not sure I could keep doing this homeschooling thing because things just got really crazy?

Tracey: Definitely. Yes. We live,

I don’t know, five minute walk from a very good elementary school.

Like, of all the elementary schools, this is one of the best ones. And I have several teacher friends who were like, oh, they’re so excited you’re right next to that school.

Like, And I’m like, well, but I’m not gonna put em in the school. And then as all of These things were unfolding. When she was born, she was. Everything was fine.

And then we moved in, and it was like, we’re trying to add things to our house and trying to take her to all of her appointments. And then we realized she’s gonna need open heart surgery,

which was, like,

devastating. You know, she’s totally okay now. If anyone’s listening, going, oh, my God. Like, she’s doing great.

I would see the school bus go by, and I’d be like, you know what? I could just enroll him. Like, it’ll be fine. It was, like, around this time last year, March 2024.

I was like, I can just put him in for the end of the school year just to give me a break, just to get him through so he can have that classroom experience,

you know? He was also complaining a lot about doing homeschooling.

He was like, this is dumb. Like, why do I have to do this? My friends, blah, blah. I’m like, your friends are in school for eight hours a day, and they’re sitting down at a desk way more than you.

You don’t even understand how much. So I’m like, I’m just gonna put you in school, and then you’ll understand.

Pam: Been there.

Tracey: Yeah. So, like, I did. I, like, went to the school website. I filled out the forms. I started doing all of that, and I was, like, talking to my friends who are elementary teachers in the area and getting advice from them.

And so many of them were like, yes, they would be so great for him with adhd. Like, they would be able to. They would be able to help him. He could get a five.

Like, they were very encouraging. So I was in a moment of weakness, you know, and so I filled all the forms, and the school emailed me back,

and they’re like, oh, well, he’s missing these, like, four shots.

And one of the main reasons why I stopped home, I started homeschooling when he was younger is because they needed, like, so many vaccines.

And I. In California, there’s no. There’s no medical exemption or anything like that allowed. It used to be he actually has a medical exemption from some reactions he had, but it’s all invalid now.

They don’t care. Like, every single kid has to have it.

And so that kind of stopped me, and I was like,

all right, Tracey. Like, you can do this. Like, and I went back to my book because I have a book that has all the reasons why I homeschool.

Like, and it was a letter to yourself that I had written a long time ago. I have like, 12 reasons I homeschool like shots is one of them, you know, but it really helped me go, okay, you want to spend time with him.

God is gonna grow you through the process of homeschooling a difficult,

high needs child.

And I hate using that word, difficult, because, like, he is such a brilliant, like, beautiful boy. But he’s also.

ADHD can be really challenging and impulsive and hyperactive and, you know, just can’t focus. Like, he’ll sit there and stare off into never Neverland. And I’m like, hey, bud. And he’s like, oh, yeah.

You know, and it’s like, God, I really do think God is teaching me patience through that. And it’s like, you want to be a patient person? Well,

you have to have moments of patience.

And so I think you have to.

Pam: Have moments of impatience to practice. To be patient.

Tracey: Exactly.

Pam: That’s what I meant.

Tracey: Yeah, you have to have moments to practice patience. And I mean, I also, like, really heavily leaned on community. Like, I didn’t try to do it all myself because I realized that I couldn’t.

And so we have a really awesome co op that we’re a part of. I’m one of the leaders of. And I didn’t lead that year. Like, I basically was like, hey, I’m gonna need, like, six months where someone else is leading.

Like, we’re gonna still come and be a part of community.

But I didn’t try to say, like, okay, I’m still gonna be able to be the leader of this co op and still recruit new. Like, I just couldn’t do all of that, Couldn’t coordinate all the different speakers and everything.

And so we had family that helped us. We had people bringing us meals to help with the baby, so I didn’t have to try to cook, you know, So I think I always encourage people to lean into community.

And if you’re homeschooling, like, you have your reasons.

So first of all, if you haven’t written them down, you should write them down. And so that you can look at em in moments of weakness like that. And so I basically just, you know, I stopped the process of putting him in school, and I just took some deep breaths,

I took a step back, and I was like, let’s just not.

Why am I trying to make sure that he gets through all this curriculum? Like, that’s not even important.

What’s important is that, like, our family connection,

that’s like, the most important thing. Because he’s going to learn the academics, and he is, like, the last now that it’s been a year. Almost like he’s blossomed. He’s doing great.

Especially, like, when I said reading, it’s like, that’s made a big difference.

But our relationships are good, and that’s critical.

Pam: I love it. I love it.

Well, let’s talk a little bit about autopilot. So put your homeschool year on autopilot. What kind of drew you to this method of planning to begin with?

Tracey: I think whenever I met you at the homeschool convention, I listened to your sessions, and then I came over to your booth and I was like, okay, I am a planner.

I love planning. I like the cute little stickers. I like adding all the things. I was like, this sounds fun.

And so I was like, let’s do it. Oh, and then you had like, a planning day. I was like, wait, so I can, like, schedule a whole day to focus on this?

So I think it was the fun that attracted to me.

Pam: But then you’re like, not very many people describe homeschool planning as fun. You are so my people.

Tracey: That’s funny. It’s so fun. Like, I actually, I, I. When I was looking at this today before our meeting, I was like, I need to do this again. Because now that I have, like, so many things in place,

it’s easier. Like, I have definitely been in survival mode and winging it for the past year and so. But I don’t really feel like I’m winging it, but just thinking it through, I’m like, yeah, you’re right.

I didn’t think fill out any forms for this year. I didn’t go through and, like, write it all down. Like, my planner that’s sitting over here is still on, like, November.

Like, I haven’t,

you know, you fill it out each month and you write your to do. Like, I’m just literally in survival mode because I took a year off with the baby and now I’m back at work, and so there’s just a lot going on.

But I think what initially attracted me to it was I like having a plan. I feel more confident when I’m like, I know what I’m doing.

And I also was a brand new homeschooler, and I remember talking to you, and my son was like, five. And I was like, what about math and what about this?

And you’re like, he’s five. And I was like, yeah, he’s five. He’s like a kindergartner. You’re like, but he’s just five. And I think because he’s so verbal and He’s.

He’s so well spoken. I’ve always. And everybody around us has always thought of him as older than he is.

It’s like he’s been more mature, at least verbally, and now I’m seeing so many things, like, emotionally, behaviorally, that he’s not as mature. But because he’s so well spoken, I thought all these high things, but I think you were like, hey,

have fun with kindergarten. Just read to him. Just enjoy him. Just do fun things. And I was like, yeah, yeah. But I need to have, like, all these things in line.

And I think going through,

you know, the books and the course, it’s like, what is, like, your homeschool vision? So I wrote it down, and it’s, like,

pretty straightforward. We actually all signed it. Like, we made our commitment to each other of, like, what we wanted our vision to be.

And it’s like the Matney family seeks to glorify God by loving God and one another. Like, that is our family vision.

That doesn’t have to do with school, but, like, that’s our family vision. So if that’s, like, the core of who we are as a family,

everything should flow out of that. So if we’re sitting down and we’re doing a writing lesson, which, like I said, spelling, writing, it’s been definitely a headache. And I find myself getting really frustrated, and I, like, we’re yelling at each other about it.

I’m like, hold on, hold on. Are we glorifying God and loving one another in this moment? No, not at all. So let’s take a break, and you go play outside, and I’m going to take some deep breaths and get some coffee, you know, so it’s like.

But when I first.

Pam: Sometimes that vision can be so darn convicting.

Tracey: Yeah. Oh, is that is convicting, right? And that’s like just the our family vision, you know? So looking at, like, the homeschool vision, it’s like, I want my son to be confident, and I want him to be able to be independent as an adult,

and I want him to be a leader. And so if I look at those things of what I want him to be, I want him to be a good, solid communicator.

I want him to be able to comfortably go out and talk to people.

I mean, all of those things kind of dictate what I decide to do. We do a lot with public speaking mainly because of what I do, and I help our kids out at co op.

Like, we do public speaking every time at co op, and so many of the kids I see,

they’re very nervous to get up in front of.

But for. I’m like, this is such a critical skill in life to be able to go and present.

Like, even if you’re like, an engineer and a scientist and you work behind the scenes, you still have to be able to go present your findings to someone.

And so I think, like, having that vision helped me a lot. And I never even considered it until, like, I came up to your booth and I was like, oh, yeah, I guess I should have, like, a vision and a plan.

And I should. I didn’t know anything about loop schedule versus this time. And I think I was like, okay, at 9:00am we’re gonna do this. And then at 10:00am we’re gonna do this.

And I realized, like, that does not work for my. Our family. So, like, learning about the loop schedule and like, so that’s.

I mean, you tell me what it’s called that we do, but it’s like, okay, we’re gonna pick up our grammar book. What’s the next lesson in there? Okay, now we’re picking up this book.

And I give him a little more autonomy of like, do you wanna do math or English first?

Pam: Right.

Tracey: You know?

Pam: You know, it’s. It’s so interesting. You said, you know, I haven’t really been planning.

You know, my planner over here is still on November.

But you also said earlier, y’ all just keep doing the next thing. And that’s what autopilot does for you. That’s. The whole system is like, you get your vision in place, you figure out what’s important.

So when life gets crazy, we’re going to do these important things, and we’re just going to get. Open it up and do the next thing. And so that’s the beauty of the situation that you went through.

Like, you’re like, well, I didn’t plan. You didn’t have to because your school year was already on autopilot.

Tracey: That’s a good point. I did the planning two, three years ago.

I set the foundation, and then, yeah, we’re kind of. I mean. And I do, like, stick things in. Like, I bought. I went to Costco and I bought, like, way too much zucchini.

You know, they buy. Everything’s in huge amount of bulks. I can only eat so much roasted zucchini. So I’m looking at it in my fridge going,

I’m going to make, like, shredded zucchini brownies or something. I’m like, we’re in fractions right now. Boom. We’re going to double the recipe, we’re going to do some adding fractions.

Like,

there’s a fun, like, St. Patrick’s Day green thing,

you know what I mean? Because, like, I, I don’t go like, oh, let me go on Pinterest and find the perfect St. Patrick’s Day plan. It’s like, what am I gonna do this afternoon?

This is what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna make zucchini.

Pam: It’s St. Patrick’s Day. It’s perfect.

Tracey: Yeah, but it’s like that I’m kind of impulsive too. I probably have adhd, undiagnosed. It’s like,

that’s what I mean though. It’s like, I didn’t plan, like, with forms. I didn’t like, sit down and do it. But I have, like,

ideas and I’m like, it fits in. Because we’re still doing the main things.

Pam: That’s right. Yeah. And I was gonna say that, you know, you, you mentioned earlier, like, I’m type A, I’m having to learn to loosen up. But having the safety of those, like, three basics, those three or four main things that you do no matter what, you know, even when the baby’s having surgery,

even when we have to move houses,

you know, Even when the 14 month old is like, I’m having to chase her,

we’re still doing our main things. But that gives you the freedom and the flexibility to throw in the St. Patrick’s Day zucchini activity, you know, because you feel so comfortable and confident in your main things that you’re doing and you know, they fit your vision.

So.

Tracey: Yeah, well. And I know that I see the outcome because I see, like, him advancing in those subjects. Like,

it’s fun. And I know some people are like, opposed to testing, but because we homeschool through a charter in California, we get funding from the state. So in order to get that funds, we have to use, we have to use their testing.

And I don’t actually mind it because I feel like life has tests. And I think in the world you’re gonna have to take tests. Like, if you wanna go to college, you gotta take the sat.

You know, you need it. So we do. I ready? And it’s really fun for me to see his, like, advancing each, like, semester. I’m like, oh,

actually, he really is growing in this. So when on days when I’m feeling like,

man, we didn’t even do, like, math for four days. Or like, we totally, like, missed this subject, whatever. It’s like, I look at it and I go, you know what, he’s actually growing and it’s a good way for me too.

So I think that’s encouraging too, is like, I don’t know if everybody that homeschools has an opportunity to do any kind of testing, but these assessments to me help, help me.

It’s, it’s kind of like, oh, pat on the back.

He scored a fifth grade level for reading. I’m like, that’s so exciting. And that’s because of me. Like, you know, like, yes, he’s, he’s a hard working student, but also I taught him that and it’s just,

it feels good.

Pam: So, yeah, yeah, that’s what I hear a lot from homeschool moms who, you know, they always feel like,

you know, am I doing enough? Am I doing enough? And then their kids take a test and they’re like, oh, yeah, wow, I am 100%.

Well, what encouragement would you give to homeschool moms who feel like life keeps throwing curveballs at their homeschool plans?

Tracey: I would say, first of all, take a step back and pray about it. You know, lean on community. Whether that’s your husband, your friends who homeschool. If you’re not part of a homeschool community, whether it’s online or in person, I like both.

Because when I’m like at home, I need the online and when I’m like, I like my kids to have playdates and whatever, like, it’s nice to be like,

I didn’t even talk about this. I. We swap with one of my friends during that season. We haven’t done it in this past year because she’s fostering a new baby right now, but she would like take my son for an afternoon.

And she’s very good at like the independent work. She likes that kind of thing and supervising them. And I like the projects, like the baking and the science things. And so her kids would come over to my house on Monday afternoon.

So then like, I would get a break and she would get a break with a.

But then our kids are getting to learn in a group setting.

And so to me it’s like,

that was really fun. I didn’t even care what they got done over there. It was like I got an afternoon off and it’s like they get time together, you know, and so to me, the encouragement is lean on other people and also take a step back.

And what are the main things,

you know, really evaluate? Like, is it really that important that your kid learns how to diagram a sentence right now in this hard time? You know, like Spelling has been one of those fights.

It’s like, I don’t know how many times we’ve talked about how to spell the word. What, like W H a t. But, like, he still writes it different every single time.

Like, sometimes he puts wut, sometimes puts W a t. And I’m like, it’ll.

Pam: Click one day, by the way.

Tracey: Right? And it just hasn’t clicked. So I’m like, it just hasn’t clicked.

Pam: It will.

Tracey: I was on the spelling team in middle school and high school. Like, I went to spelling club.

Pam: Okay, but eight years old is not middle school. No, I know, but like, like,

developmental spot that they get to, and different kids get to it at different ages, and one day it will click, and it will totally make sense. But even, like, having the spell the word on a list and being able to spell it on a spelling test on the list doesn’t mean that when he’s using the word,

he’s going to use the word correctly. And one day, Tracey, I promise it’s going to click. He’s not going to be 27 years old and still spelling what W T.

He’s going to know how to spell it good.

Tracey: And. But that’s one of those things that he. We were just having so many arguments with spelling, and it wasn’t just fighting over the spelling. Right. Well, so that’s why I was like, you know what?

We’re gonna do something else right now. And I ordered that fix it grammar book. And I’m like, let’s do grammar. Because, like, he loves stories and he likes that. And so the fix it grammar has been cool because it’s really easy for him to do himself.

And I’m like, we’re gonna. We’ll come back to spelling.

So I think that’s my encouragement is like, if it’s not working for you, like, you don’t have to keep doing it. You don’t even have to finish the book. Like,

that’s one thing that I was like, what? I didn’t. I. But I bought this book or I got this book, and, like, I should finish it because what if we pick up something else and then he misses something?

But I’m like, you know, what if I never finish this exact spelling book?

It will be okay.

And that is hard for me. That. That release,

that’s really hard. Cause I’m like, no, I have to. I have to do it all.

Pam: But you don’t. You don’t.

Tracey: But I don’t. I don’t.

Pam: So I love it. Isn’t it interesting? How homeschooling is just as much about our growth as it is theirs.

Tracey: Yep.

That is. That is 100% true, I think. Parenting in general,

but homeschooling just adds a whole nother layer. It’s like, as a parent, God gives us the kids that are like ours. Like, he knew who he was giving us,

and he knew, like, he knows us. Like, he knows us so intimately that he knows, like,

what we need, and he knows that our kids need us.

And so I think that that’s, like,

that makes me a little bit emotional, because when I think about the hard times with my son, I also think, like,

wow, like, God was.

God was working on me, too. You know, it wasn’t just like, oh, there’s this sinful little child that you have to deal with. Oh, no.

What about Tracey’s sin? And, like, the anger that has come out of me has been really hard. Like,

it’s like, I’m tired. Like, my baby is still not sleeping through the night. So it’s like,

there’s days that I’m just like, I want to yell. And I have, over the last two years,

dramatically decreased that. I mean, I was raised in a. In a yelling household. So was my husband,

and it’s not healthy. And I’m like, we have to not. We have to stop this yelling. And so the other day, my son was, like, really losing it.

I was so proud of myself that I, like, kept it calm, and I.

I was able to be the calm. And so, to me, it’s like, that is a huge growth. So, yes, he’s learning to read, and he’s learning math, and he’s doing great.

But it’s also,

I’m growing, and I’m able to go,

hey, I can see you’re really frustrated right now. Why don’t you go take a break in your room? And my husband goes, hey, good job. Like, good job keeping calm.

And I, like, needed that little pat on the back from him, too, because normally I’d be like, go to your room. Like, why are you. Why are you losing it?

Like, he throws himself on the ground like a toddler sometimes, and I’m. Oh, my gosh,

he’s eight.

That is so hard.

But you know what?

Pam: One day he’ll look back,

and he’ll remember the progress you made. Like, he. He won’t be. He won’t be the person who says, well, I came from a yelling household. He’ll be the person who, you know,

you. You know, you broke that. And it’s now something different through the work that you’ve done. So. Yeah, yeah, 100%.

Yeah.

Well,

you sometimes share some stories and encouragement. Where can people find you for that?

Tracey: On Instagram or TikTok? I share. It’s Mama Tracey underscore. And Tracey has an ey, so.

Pam: And we’ll link to that. Yeah, we’ll link to that in the show notes.

Tracey: Yeah, Mama Tracey. I share. I share, you know, sourdough recipes and homeschool projects we’re doing and, like, very cute baby videos over there. So I. Yeah, it’s fun.

Pam: And when your second one is five and ready to start kindergarten, how are you gonna do with that?

Tracey: That is a good question. And Pam, this is another encouragement to those moms. You just have to take the step that you’re doing right now.

You know, work in the phase that you’re in. Cause I have thought about that. I’m like, okay, when she’s five, he’s gonna be 12.

Like, that’s a whole different thing. Like,

and so it’s like, I have to just focus on 8 and 1 right now because, yes, I am planning to homeschool him all the way through high school. He actually said a couple days ago, he said something like, yeah, I go to high school, it’ll be like, blah, blah,

like, so you’re going to be homeschooled in high school.

Just so you’re clear.

Pam: Just go ahead and get that. Get that ready.

Tracey: Yeah, but it’s like, we home, we have a lot of homeschool friends, so I don’t think it’ll be weird. We’ll have like a debate club and prom. There’s all these things here.

So many people homeschool near me, so that’s cool. But it’s like, let’s just think about what we’re doing right now. And that was actually advice someone gave me at my baby shower when I was pregnant with him, was like, you’re going to have the baby and you’re going to be thinking about,

well, what do I do when he starts school and what do I do whenever he has a girlfriend or what do I do when he wants to get a cell phone?

Like, those are all future things that I could worry about.

But I got enough to worry about right now,

so I plan to homeschool. And I feel like, you know, he’ll be more independent when he’s 12 and 13,

and so I’ll be able to homeschool kindergarten. To me, homeschooling kindergarten is so fun. And I. I think that I’ll. It’ll be so Much more fun this time because I’ll have.

I’ve already learned the lessons of reading is not necessary by the end of five years old.

Like, I thought that you had to learn to read. By the end of kindergarten, I was like, you have to know all of these things by this point because of the schooling that I had and the way that I thought school was.

So now that I’m like, oh, like, other countries don’t even teach reading till second and third grade, like,

that’s fine, you know? And so,

yeah, I feel like. I feel like a lot more. I can just like, really sit.

Pam: I love it. I love it so much. Well, Tracey, thank you so much for coming on and chatting with us today. You have a fascinating story, and I’m so glad the baby’s doing okay and you guys are rolling with your homeschool and just know you got about 10 more months and then it’ll get easier again.

Tracey: Okay,

well, hey, if any moms are out there, want to pray for me while you’re up with your baby in the middle of the night, you know,

feel free. Anna Claire is a lovely daughter, but she wakes up in the night and I have to nurse her back to sleep, and it definitely, definitely wanes on me in the morning.

Pam: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So, well, we’ll keep praying for you. And we’re so glad that you came on to chat with us.

Tracey: Yeah, it’s been a fun full circle moment from meeting you and you challenging me and encouraging me. I guess that was. Yeah, three years ago. So pretty cool.

Pam: That’s our show for today.

Be sure to follow, subscribe and leave a review so you never miss out on the wonder of homeschooling better together.

To stay connected and learn even more about the homeschooling better together resources and to join our free community,

visit hsbtpodcast.com until next week. Keep stepping out of the overwhelm and into the wonder.