The Truth About Homeschool Socialization

If you have homeschooled for any amount of time at all, you have probably heard the question, “What about socialization?”  While the truth is that our children are no more or less likely to be inept socially than any of their other peers who go to school, there are still some considerations to take into account when you think about homeschooling and the need for friendships.

Should Homeschool Parents Worry About Socialization?

It depends on what you mean by socialization.

There’s one category where people think kids are going be weird and not know how to interact in the world just because they are homeschooled. Should you worry about that? No, because it’s just not true.

When I was teaching in public schools, there were kids who struggled socially. They were socially awkward. They didn’t fit in. To think that if we homeschool our kids, they’re automatically going to struggle is just not the case. If you send your kids to school, they’re not automatically going to be socially capable, or not. It really just depends on the kid and the situation.

But if you’re thinking, “How will my kids make friends or will my kids have friends?”  Well, that’s a different topic entirely. That’s about friendships. Friendships are something we do need to be intentional about when it comes to our homeschooled children.

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How Can We Help Our Children Develop Friendships?

When it comes to supporting our children’s ability to build friendships, different ages are going to require different levels of support.

For most ages, one of the best places to start is with group activities with other homeschoolers. Co-ops, getting together for field trips, even homeschool proms can help. Once you meet people, start to plan your own things. For example, maybe weekly dates where your families do science or history together.

Of course, as your kids become teenagers, your focus will shift to their interests and finding outlets for them, whether it’s theater, sports, or art. You do some digging, then you drop them off and let them go meet people in their areas of interest.

As one homeschool mom put it, “Homeschooling teens is I drive and I pay, and that’s it.”

Listen to the Podcast:

The Myths About Homeschool Socialization

Mary Wilson, from maryhannahwilson.com has four kids, one of whom she’s graduated and three more who are still teens at home. She also is actively engaged and incredibly popular on Tik Tok, sharing homeschooling tips and tricks. Here’s what she has to say about the myths of homeschool socialization.

“The number one question I’m asked (or the criticism I get) is about socializing i.e. How will your kids make friends? Or, “Your kids are gonna be such losers.”

There’s so many misconceptions. It’s as if people forget that we live in 2021 and there’s an internet. We can find outside groups and we can go do things. Our kids can meet people online. They can meet people locally, and they actually have more time in their day for socializing than the kids at school. I think there’s this misconception that we’re sitting in our houses for six and a half hours, just like the kids at school and doing our school work without interacting with anyone else.”

One of the things that has contributed to this misconception is the pandemic.

So many public school parents suddenly had to keep their kids home and were calling it homeschool. The assumption is that doing virtual, public school at home is what all homeschoolers are doing. Their kids were lonely, frustrated and they were all trying to figure things out. It was a horrible situation, but that’s not what homeschooling is for most families.

It also perpetuated the idea that homeschooling is awful and how could anyone possibly want to do this. The reality is, we simply do not have a “school at home.” The idea of virtual schooling and being on the computer for hours a day –  I don’t know any homeschoolers who live like that.

Real Life Social Opportunities for Homeschoolers

Finding meaningful social opportunities for homeschoolers can be done! Mary shared one of the ideas she used when her daughter entered seventh grade.

“I started organizing a book club and then I became the lady who organized the book clubs. One year I had three different book clubs going for my kids. It great for them because they were meeting with their peers. I was meeting other moms who were homeschooling kids, the same ages as mine, who also thought it was important to get the kids together and that books were fun. I still have some of my own friends, even now that those book clubs have dissolved, who were parents of the kids who were in them.”

When you are able to find homeschool families who have similar interests, it works, and it doesn’t have to be a book club. If your kids are really into sports and you’re a sports family, then you’re not going to arrange book clubs or field trips necessarily. You’re going to find the sports leagues to be on. It’s a perfectly good and valid way to do this kind of living.

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While it’s not the only consideration when it comes to socialization, finding opportunities for children to interact with other kids their own age is important. Our children certainly don’t need to spend all day, every day only with kids their age. In fact, one of the things I’ve loved about homeschooling is that my kids are so comfortable with children of all ages. That said it is important to find some kids within their age range, specially as they get older, because peers becomes such a important part of young adulthood.

Volunteer work can be really helpful for the teenage kid who maybe isn’t interested in sports, theater or other easily accessible options. The library has been a great place for homeschooled teens to volunteer, and meet other teens. Whether it’s church, youth group, or volunteering, look up local organizations as a place to start.

Then jobs, once they get older, provide ample opportunity to develop friendships with kids the same age. I had the opportunity to see just how valuable this is when I went to my kid’s employee Christmas party.  They were having fun with friends, talking and socializing. They were with their coworkers and things like that. It was a lot of fun to watch and see them getting out into the world.

The bottom line is this: it’s going to be fine. They’re going to learn to have relationships. They’re going to have important people in their lives and they will be socially adept.

Watch on YouTube: 

More About Homeschooling With Mary Wilson

You can find more from Mary Wilson at maryhannahwilson.com. She has four kiddos, one of whom she’s graduated and three more who are still teens at home. Mary is a writer online teacher and homeschool mom to four kids ranging in age from middle school, all the way up to high school on her homeschool blog, Mary Hannah Wilson, she shares resource tips, ideas, all kinds of encouragement for families to embrace the freedom that comes from homeschooling. She has some of the funniest Tik Toks out there, go follow her Tik Tok account. She also has her bookworm website Celebrate a Book where she helps parents celebrate and talk about literature with their kids.