Your words aren’t as helpful as you think they are

I know you mean well.

When I published my post on homeschool consistency I got quite a few responses. There were people who thanked me for writing the post, talking about how much it helped them (which was my intent).

There were a few who condemned the need for me to write the post in the first place — sadly there will always be those people. The ones who have it all together and think everyone else should too.

And then there was the group that surprised me (though they probably shouldn’t have). You shouldn’t have written this post they said. You are going to discourage moms they said.

You should tell moms that they are enough for their children.

You should tell moms to relax that homeschooling is all about flexibility.

You should tell moms that it is all going to work out ok in the end.

And my thought was, no I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t tell moms that at all because those words just aren’t helpful.

Two groups of homeschool moms

Then I realized that we are talking past each other. There are two (for the purpose of this post) groups out there. There is the group that needs to hear the words “you are enough.” Those words keep them going, make them feel stronger, and lift them up so they don’t get down on themselves.

There is also another group of moms. The moms like me.

Those words don’t help us at all. We see them as patronizing, condescending, disingenuous. Those words depress us and make us feel like we will never get things right.

We are idealists, perfectionists, and type-A moms.

We have a grand vision of what we want learning and education to look like in our home.

We know we want more than just checking the boxes even if we are not always quite sure what more is.

We want passionately to do the best job we can with this vocation we have been called to do.

We always want to do better than what we are doing. This doesn’t depress us. It feeds us.

We sometimes get stalled out in all of that idealism. We have so much desire and expectation that the perfect becomes the enemy of the good, and we have trouble getting started.

We need people to stop telling us that this is the wrong way to feel, because that isn’t helping one bit.

We need to be told that our consistency stinks but we can do better.

Our needs aren’t being met

Most of the support writing out there for homeschool moms falls into the “you are enough” category.

Maybe it is because that group is larger in number. Maybe it is because the kinds of moms who like to hear those things are the ones doing most of the writing. Maybe it is because the group that needs to hear those words are the most vocal in their need. I don’t know.

Sure idealist moms read some of the “you are enough” books and take what they can from them, but they often feel alone.

They feel like most of the homeschool support world just doesn’t get exactly what is eating at them. Or how to help them.

So if my words made you feel bad, I apologize. I would be happy to point you towards some other bloggers or books that will give you exactly what you need and there is no reason we can’t still be friends.

On the other hand, if my post lit a fire under you, gave you hope, or made you feel empowered then you are in the right place.

I’m committed to writing posts that will help you. I’m committed to providing the kind of support you need to make the lasting change you want to make in your homeschool.

You can do this. I’ve got confidence in you. (<—- some helpful words, right?)

P.S. – If you want to sign up to get more posts like this one, you can do that here.

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  • Tasmanian says:

    Amen. You are such an encouragement in my life. I have learned so much from your podcasts. I can’t imagine where I would be without Morning Basket and store bought cookies for poetry tea. Bring your family and stay with us in Australia any time.

    • Pam Barnhill says:

      Thank you. And we might just do that one day. Australia sounds fun!

      • Bridget says:

        And when you have visited Tasmania, come to Queensland! Morning Basket has changed our homeschool atmosphere for the better. I would be lost without all the fantastic resources coming from the States. It is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much Pam for all the effort you put into your website.

    • Sheri Payne says:

      Loved the post. It lit a fire under me. You described me exactly above when you said “Those words don’t help us at all. We see them as patronizing, condescending, disingenuous…” That is so me! And I always felt bad that those type of writers/bloggers didn’t inspire me. Thank you Pam!!

  • Pam, well done. This is what makes you such a fantastic and dynamic blogger. You really know your readers and your heart really is for them. I actually found the post on consistency helpful, but can understand that every mom is in a different place. Bravo for listening and loving well (as usual, but demonstrated again here). ?

    • Pam Barnhill says:

      Thank you, Lynna. Yes, all in different places. I am glad there are people who can recognize that one-size doesn’t fit all — even in homeschool support. 🙂

      • Dawn says:

        Your article on consistency was the first I’ve read of hundreds that some straight to my struggles. I printed it out and have it right next to my nespresso.
        For a week, the article looked at me each morning and gave me the kick in the pants to push past my visions of educational grandeur. To just get started and be happy with small daily steps.
        Thank you for sticking to your ministry to us moms in group 2.

  • Candace says:

    Pam I LOVED your post on consistency. I am one of those moms who is trying so hard to get it all in, running around like a mouse in a kitchen full of ‘stuff’ trying to choose what to eat but not eating because I am stalled by indecision. I want to do it all!! But in that mental state I am not consistent, and my homeschool suffers for it. After reading your post I am determined to be more disciplined. In fact, I’ve already started by incorporating a loop schedule and waking up before my kids so I can have some time to myself, which really gets me going on the right foot in the morning. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

    • Pam Barnhill says:

      Yay Candace! Keep workin’ it, mama. It will make a difference.

    • Jennifer says:

      Candace, you described just where I am at!

  • Sarah says:

    I read your “homeschool consistency” post and loved it, I even read it to my husband telling him how encouraged I felt. As a Type A, perfectionist that is a message I crave in this community of homeschooling mama’s.
    Thank You!

    • Heather says:

      I was about to comment and say almost the exact same thing Sarah, so I figured I’d just reply to yours and say DITTO!!!! Thank you Pam! This Type-A mom loves your way of teaching and encouraging, thank you so much!

  • Lisa says:

    Truth, spoken in love, is always more beneficial than simply telling someone what they want to hear. Especially if their actions (or inaction) is negatively impacting those they love or those they are responsible for. Thank you for the positive, encouraging way you speak Truth. Keep up the great work ??

    • Pam Barnhill says:

      Thank you, Lisa. I do think the other moms still need those different affirming words. I don’t want to negate that — just to point out that the words that work for some don’t work for all. 🙂

    • Dion says:

      Yes! Truth spoken in love is always better than telling people what they what to hear! I say bravo, Pam! Your words are timely for me. And I really enjoyed the consistency post.

    • Lacey says:

      Yes, yes, yes!!

      Thank you Pam!

  • Leslie says:

    A thousand times, YES! Thank you!

  • Mama Rachel says:

    Some women need affirmative words. Some need acts of service. But we all need community. As American’s we balk at community and living in community. We don’t want someone to come help us clean our house b/c we just had a new baby… they would see how we don’t have it together. For some the ‘you can do it!’ might be all they think they need (and it might give them what they need to get up and get going), but more often we need the humility to say “I am not everything I need. I need others. I need my husband. I need other women, younger and older.” You are doing the right thing Pam, keep it up.

  • Mama Rachael says:

    ps is there a way to do it/change it so my email isn’t up there?

  • Kim says:

    Thank you! Your books have saved my homeschool and inspired our whole family. We have special needs in our corner and before I read Morning Basket this semester, I had given up all hope of finishing our school year and of visualizing how our child would succeed. You inspired and transformed our school.

  • Heidi says:

    “We see them as patronizing, condescending, disingenuous. “. Yep! I am never motivated by “you got this” or “don’t worry about doing it perfect.” That makes no sense to me.

  • eileen says:

    As I sat with my identical twin sister amd we read the blog together (we both homeschool and follow you) we literally realized we are exact opposites about what we need to hear. To me, your blog about being toug on yourself is a God-sent, I make so many excuses and need a lot of tough love. My sister on the other hand, is the exact opposite and is so tough on herself, she needs to be reminded that she is enough, they do enough and it will all work out. So yes, there are at least two different types of readers to your blog amd we love every second of it. Thank you for saying the words I needed to hear and helping my sister hear the words she needed to hear to help me!

    • Pam Barnhill says:

      Yes!! And what a blessing that you realize exactly what the other person needs. You are so blessed to have each other.

  • Takiyah says:

    YES! YES! YES! Perfect! Thank you so much! Seriously!!!!

  • Sarah says:

    Amen!

  • Jenn says:

    Pam! I follow another blog that posted a link with your post, it was interesting to see the comments. Life isn’t always about positive reinforcement, I’m sorry, it’s not! Yes it’s nice to have encouragement and to have praise BUT….there are moms (parents) out there that just shouldn’t homeschool…….and I hate to say it but there are some where it won’t all work out in the end and having someone write that it will etc is wrong and just misleading. I appreciate your honest posts, I love your work. You can’t always please everyone, you know that 🙂

  • Cameron Lawracy says:

    Pam, you are one of the only homeschool resources I consistently use and love to hear from. You provide me with exactly the inspiration I need. Thank you for speaking to my type A heart and giving me the pushes I need to keep doing better for my children.

  • Sara says:

    I loved this. I loved your post on consistency too, because I definitely struggle with consistency in many aspects of my life. And fluffy words like “you got this” or “you’re enough” just don’t help. I need a kick in the pants! That’s what encourages me! Nothing makes me feel like “I got this” quite like someone saying, “just get going already!”

  • Sarah M says:

    I so appreciate this!!

  • Shannon says:

    Agreed wholeheartedly. I will typically read blog posts and move on my merry way, but your consistency post struck a cord so I bookmarked it in my phone.

    Homeschooling is something we have to work at if we want to give our children a fun and exciting education! I didn’t read the comments in your consistency post but the comment “It will be ok in the end”- yes, it will! But, did teacher and student just trudge through to meet state requirements, and maybe make a lapbook or two along the way? Or was it filled with little things that make history and science come alive, or see art in a new way, or make math fun (yuck)- all the things that take it past just teaching our kids but giving them a gift of our time and wonderful, heartfelt experiences? Providing an education isn’t *too* tough, but making that education rich enough for our kids to feast on, does take time and effort on our part. I can’t expect to lose weight if I don’t work for it! In the same way, I can’t expect to reap all of the amazing benefits of homeschooling if I don’t (read:stop being lazy and) work for it!

    Which is certainly not to say that there are times or seasons that come where we are running on fumes and just making requirements…and that’s ok! Life happens and that’s the beauty of homeschool. We suffered the loss of two children in less than a 6 month time- we lost a perfect little boy at 26 weeks pregnant and then a perfect little girl at 18 weeks pregnant. You have to give yourself grace and know that it’s ok when you’re only covering a few “need to know” subjects for weeks, or maybe months, on end. That’s the flexibility of homeschool! But after the season has passed and you’ve been strengthened, go back to celebrating the joy of homeschool and being able to learn right along with your children.

    I enjoy homeschool more when it’s enriched with hands on learning and fun activities/field trips and I know my children do to. That takes time and effort…and I get lazy. I need a kick in the pants that coffee can’t give me. The part in your last post that I kind of nervously laughed at (bc it’s so me) was about saying to yourself that you can’t do it perfectly so you just won’t do it at all. Tough love but true for me! (I struggle with perfectionism and it’s something I often cry out to God about.) I am definitely in the group you were addressing in your consistency post! ?

    But I’ll stop writing my novella here and end with this: I am not enough- as a wife, mom, homeschool teacher, friend, sister, daughter, anything! But God is and I’m so thankful for that! Only through Him, I’m enough! ❤

  • MamaLena says:

    I always want to aspire to do better in my life and as a mother and those “you are enough” articles are not enough. I don’t need to spend my time bogged in self-pity. So thank you for saying this; this is just what I need.

  • Lauren says:

    So true. Often, the most edifying words in my life are those that work like a scalpel on my heart–convicting me of wrong attitudes or actions and pointing me to the grace of God–for a clear conscience because of the work of Christ and for the strength to get back up and do what is right.

    I’m definitely NOT enough, as much I like to think that I am or can be (in my Type-A head). But when I see myself more accurately, God’s grace is made so much bigger in my view. And the comfort that comes from THAT is so much greater than if someone just gave me a pat on the back–though if I’m honest with myself I probably need that from time to time, too. 😉 But you’re right–the tough love is hard to find in the homeschool blogosphere. So please keep bringing it.

  • Cat says:

    Yes, yes, yes!!! Thanks Pam!!!

  • Lori says:

    I liked your post on consistency. Not because I’m type-A, because I’m not. But because I really, REALLY want to do a good job at this homeschooling gig and your post was like a *polite* kick in the seat of the pants. A shot in the arm, if you will. I think there are definitely homeschooling moms who need more discipline and, as my pastor explained yesterday, discipline is a good thing. It can be painful, but discipline also heals. And, “Wounds from a friend are better than kisses from enemy”. Telling moms they’ve got this, when they don’t, is not helpful. It’s a disservice. I listen to your podcasts not to be encouraged (although I usually am), but to be challenged to be and do better. Thank you for the accountability!it is rare and truly needed.

  • Dee Anne says:

    I absolutely loved your post about consistency! I even forwarded it to a friend. Our homeschool year has been such a joy this year because of Morning Time. I’m not sure exactly how I happened upon your website last year, but I’m so thankful I did! You are so “down to earth” as we say in the Deep South.

  • Robin W says:

    I’m one of those type A mamas that needed to hear the words you wrote in that post. They spoke right to me. I enjoy being encouraged as much as the next person, but sometimes I just need to hear the hard truth – spoken in love as you always do. So THANK YOU for doing what you do!

  • Dion says:

    Ideas of “you got this” and “you’re more than enough” just don’t cut it for me anymore. Perhaps when I was in the first year or so of homeschool, but now I need the consistency is key talks more. Bravo, Pam. Keep writing what comes from YOU!

  • Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! I have been homeschooling for 18 years, and still need this kind of encouragement. I am a “recovering unschooler” and have many regrets about my older children’s unschooling experience. I sooo appreciate the kind of encouragement you give. {{Hugs}}

  • Sandy Spence says:

    Your post on consistency was the kick in the pants that I needed, so I applaud this follow up. This makes me think of what I was just thinking recently: how opinionated that we as homeschooling moms can be. We praise the curriculum/approach we love and vilify those we don’t. Can we not just give input without trying to sway someone to our side? It’s not debate, but we frequently act as though it is. It’s just a math program question. 🙂

    I remember serving under a pastor who was a “cheerleader” type. My husband and I would come to him feeling like we weren’t accomplishing what we were supposed to be doing in our role, but he would just encourage us to “keep on keeping on”. When you don’t know what you are supposed to be doing, it isn’t helpful to “rah rah sis boom bah” someone, but to really sit them down and have them examine why they feel this way. (BTW, we ended up resigning because we didn’t feel effective.)

    I do think that those early years of homeschooling are tough. you are trying to adjust to life at home and get in your groove while trying to keep your house straight and make all of the meals and trying to keep your husband happy in the process. Those years are the “you are enough” years. However, when you start hitting middle school and high school, then you see that consistency IS king. If you’ve not found that groove earlier on, you will derail and it will be a bumpy ride. So, I think it is both–different types of people but maybe more so different stages of life. We all can’t be ears and eyes remember! 🙂

  • Melinda says:

    So interesting! I’m realizing that I’ve kind of lumped you Type A folks who “struggle with consistency” into the same group as those who “have it all together and think everyone else should too” group. I’m sorry about that! And I don’t really mean to be judging anyone! It’s just you’re both so different than I am that it’s hard for me to see the subtleties I guess. 🙂

    I’m definitely in the group where a loving kick in the behind is not (usually) helpful. But it’s also useful for me sometime to “see how the other half lives” so to speak, and I do enjoy your blog often. And believe me, after homeschooling for fifteen years one thing I have learned is that there are so many different kinds of awesome homeschool moms. (And yes, I have never seen myself in any of the “awesome” groups except for little tiny glimpses when I look in retrospect at some of what we’ve done!)

    But I’m also not inthe “beat myself up all the time” category who needs vacuous or disengenuous faint praise. (Actually does anyone need that?) I need someone to tell me “You’ve got this.” Because they see that I really do. Even if it’s “different.” I need someone to point my attention to the things I really do do well and then gently encourage me to expand those areas.

    Very thoughtful blog post, Pam. I appreciate your sensitivity. And keep doing what you do best. I wouldn’t want you to do anything else.

  • Carolyn says:

    Thanks, Pam! I can imagine, being a blogger, no matter what you write there are some folks who will be upset. I really appreciated your post about consistency because I can really struggle with it. It felt like the tough love we need to give each other. I also like to hear I am enough, but I can let that slide into laziness sometimes and that isn’t a blessing to my family. It felt like words I needed to hear to be challenged. In fact, this morning 8 a.m. rolled around (when I normally *want* to start my school day) and I found myself thinking that I need to honor my part-time job by showing the hours the same respect I would something outside the home. I wrapped up what I was working on (and wanted to continue to work on) and got our day started. I am so grateful for what you wrote because it really hit home and put a framework to the internal struggle I had been feeling. It is easier for me to get things done for outside commitments and not bring my A game to homeschooling, the one thing that truly needs my A game.

  • Gina says:

    Your post on consistency was exactly what I needed to hear and perfectly fit the conversation that a homeschool friend and I had just the day before. I sent it to her and I expect to be reading it again in the future.

    I loved this post too and it was a reminder to me that I need to be sensitive to the needs of my friends. I can’t expect that they will be inspired by the same thing that I am.

    We are all striving to be the best mothers as possible and we need to support each other. Sometimes that will be speaking truth – even hard things that are difficult to hear, sometimes it will be encouragement but always it will be in love. Thanks for speaking to me through many of your posts.
    Gina

  • Mistee says:

    Pam,

    I am a mother of a 21 year old (out in the world now) and a 6 and 8 year old. Consistency? A reminder that life is not packed up in a pretty bow all the time and that we have flaws and things to work on in parenting and educating our children? Yes! Yes! Yes! I found peace in my life with our first child when I learned that no matter how hard I try at parenting that ultimately it is God’s plan. And guess what? We aren’t always going to be ok. We are going to fail, make mistakes and be let down oh sooooo many times with our children. I found peace when I let go of any notion that I had it all together, that this was perfectly going to work out, that I could get this thing right on, spot on and seek some kind of identity in what my child would turn out like. OH…..so wrong……and you know what? At 49, I am soooooooo very comfortable in this season of life because I know that I don’t have this whole thing, that setbacks and hurt and perfect outcomes are NOT a reality. Does it mean I don’t work hard at this? No. I do my job. God has placed it in my heart to do this so this cannot be wrong. I am so much better off living with no blinders on and just doing the hard work that it is to parent with love and grace. And with an adult child, unconditional love and forgiveness!!!! I believe you are doing a great service to women by your consistency post and this follow up one. I wish I would have read posts like these as a younger mother because truth in the reality of what life really looks like is not a vessel to discourage the young mother’s or the older ones but to help them see that this is what life really looks like. Maybe I have just learned over time to let go more – and I am so glad I have. Thank you Pam – for being so candid and real.

  • Pam says:

    Thanks for being brave and continuing this topic of consistency. I am in my first year of homeschooling and let me tell ya, there is not enough of me to be “enough” for my 4 schoolagers and 2 littles. Without you and your podcasts, along with some others you have turned me onto, I would have chalked this endeavor up as a total fail. Consistency is one of the biggest problems I have had. I will definitely stay tuned!

  • Lynda says:

    I am not a type A person. I enjoyed your blog, and do not want to criticize.
    I get what you are saying. But I tried living up to the type A mom vision, and I just can’t! I am a totally unscheduled, unplanned type of homeschool mom. I try setting a schedule, and no matter how we try, can never stick with it. Whatever we get done, we get done.
    My daughter struggles with feeling overwhelmed when we stick to a schedule, so I let her do whatever she wants, as long as it is school work, or life lessons like chores. I take no grades. We give no tests. I am thankful that there are people like you who can encourage you to be better.
    But I am also thankful for people like me who say ” You are enough.”. Glad that God made us all different!

  • Annie says:

    Hi Pam! I just wanted to say that as someone who is in more if the “you are enough” category (Very type B but also very idealistic and perfectionist driven) I have been SO blessed and encouraged by your work through your podcasts, Facebook live chats and blog! I absolutely love them and have been so very encouraged and inspired by your work. Your work reaches out to many different types of homeschool moms and even though we may be different in our personalities there are always nuggets of wisdom and encouragement that I take away from your talks. Thank you for all you do for us homeschool mamas Types A, B and in all that lies in between ?? You are a gift to many!

  • Sara Santos says:

    Thank you for saying what needed to be said!

    I feel like the “you are always enough” encouragement, without any caveats, is just not true – because some of us aren’t going to do a good job without a little kick in the pants, and because we are ALL fallen selfish human beings. I know that when I start reading those posts I’m usually trying to assuage the guilt of failing, instead of just repenting, receiving grace and getting on with the next right thing.

    I am not enough, Christ is enough. He will equip me for what he has called me to and his grace is enough to cover my weakness.

    This is not about whether you have a strict schedule or a flexible routine. It’s about faithfulness to our calling as home educators.

  • Lauren says:

    I loved your original post!! I was excited and pumped for days and saved it intending to read it three more times, at least! Keep going, we love you and we appreciate you!

  • Jillian says:

    Pam, you happened to publish that consistency post right when I really needed to read it! And I’m sure I’m not the only one. Keep on speaking the truth, sister!

  • Catherine says:

    Thank you Pam for all that you do. I loved your post on consistency. Your blog and podcasts have been immensely helpful on our homeschooling journey. I rarely comment online but I just wanted to say a heartfelt ‘thanks’ 🙂

  • Jessica says:

    “We sometimes get stalled out in all of that idealism. We have so much desire and expectation that the perfect becomes the enemy of the good, and we have trouble getting started.”

    This describes me perfectly. I love the consistency posts. I think we all need to hear “you are enough” sometimes…often even. But we also need some actionable truth spoken into our lives! Thank you for being that voice.

  • Heather says:

    I really appreciated your consistency post, and this was a great follow-up piece. I am a faithful follower of your blog and podcasts and have gained so much through them! Please keep up the good work! Thank you for being a fun, down-to-earth “friend” in the homeschool world!

  • Gloria says:

    YES! I never thought about this distinction before! I am one of those Type A Idealist Perfectionists (who also struggles with laziness). When I hear the “you’re doing enough” encouragement, I often hear “it’s okay to settle.” There is a balance, of course, to keep out of the danger zone of each extreme (too perfectionistic or too slack). But, you are right; I am energized more by the encouragement to keep reaching/keep trying than I am with the encouragement of you’re okay/just relax.

  • Daksina says:

    I have to admit that when I first read that post I did feel a little deflated. But…that’s because I haven’t been homeschooling consistently recently, even though I REALLY WANT TO. So, after taking some time to digest your post, I made some big changes in my homeschool – mainly to not try to fit so much in! And guess what, I have managed to homeschool consistently for the past few days. So thank you! Sometimes you do need someone to point out that this is a really important responsibility and we have to give it the attention it deserves. Thank you for being that person this time Pam.

  • Danielle Hull says:

    Yes, I find the “You are enough” posts condescending! I mean, I need to know I am loved and enough in Christ, but I need to be held accountable and told to get my act together lol! I was wondering if there were moms like me. Those who had good self-esteem, didn’t struggle with fear, yet couldn’t get it all together, even though I knew I was smart enough and fully able. Maybe most type-A women are working out of the home! Thank you so much, Pam!

  • Tasha says:

    I loved your post and Facebook talk about consistency! I needed to hear it, and many of the points you brought up have stayed with me… and they are encouragingly me to make better choices. When new homeschool moms ask me for advice, I always send them your way. Thanks for what you do, Pam! Your fellow Alabamian, Tasha

  • Tea says:

    Thank you. I enjoyed both the consistency post and this one. We all have different needs and ways that encourage us. I needed the encouragement to get it done. Thanks again.

  • Mandy says:

    YES!!!! I am energized by finding ways to improve! I loved your post on consistency, by the way.

    It really is a lot like “love languages”! What speaks love to one person is not what speaks love to another.

    I also find that homeschool moms that do not have a background in education are generally more in the camp of needing to hear “you are enough,” whereas the moms with a vocational teaching background want to be “spurred on” so to speak. I think it is immensely helpful to know the other mom’s background when I’m in a HS conversation. I want to be the best encouragement I can be to those around me and some sweet mamas do need to know that their worst day is absolutely good enough! However, my “teacher” friends definitely enjoy figuring out “how to do it better”.

    Thank you Pam for, again, giving me something to “noodle” on as I think through how I can help those around me!

  • Chelli says:

    I’m loving your consistency series you have going on! Many times I find myself needing to relax because my type-A perfectionist self wants to push, push, push and add more, more, more. But I also find myself many times doing nothing our very little in actuality because I feel overwhelmed about doing it all. For me it’s about balance between those to extremes. A good way to sum it up for me is that I need to relax about keeping up (with public schools and other homeschoolers) and I need to be consistent about getting up (doing the work of home educating).

  • Jessica says:

    You rock, Pam.

    That is all. 😉

  • Jackie says:

    I’m am unschooling mom yet I found your words to be encouraging and affirming – affirming that the morning will make or break the day! I haven’t been doing read alouds and morning would be the ideal time. If I get that in & cooking with my daughter, I will count it as a good day. Thank you!

  • Karen says:

    Oh, my, goodness!
    I just read your Homeschooling Consistency post and thought, “She sees me right now. This is my life.” And then, from curiosity, I followed the link to this post.
    You are spot on. This type A mom hears the “you are enough” comments and replies, “No, I’m not. If you really knew what my homeschool/life looked like, you would be appalled. I have to be better.”
    I’m waiting for my season in life to be easier (I’m solo parenting 4 kids, oldest with autism at 9yo and youngest challenging toddler at 15 months, with no consistent sleep). But I shouldn’t wait; life won’t actually get easier as I wait. I do A LOT as a parent, but I took on this homeschooling gig, and it’s not enough anymore to just be a parent.

    Thank you for your posts. I don’t know that they specifically helped me, as much as I could just relate and nod in agreement since the thoughts are all ones I’ve been mulling over. But I also needed to hear that I’m not alone in this inconsistency.
    Thank you again!

  • ruthann says:

    Your posts speak my language and motivate me to continually improve. I like the challenge to do it better. When I become off balanced and treat my children like obstacles to my ideal homeschool the supportive posts (you are enough) help me to be more loving and kind. To remember that they need me as much as their math facts. You and Kara make a great team of warm and fuzzy and practical. Plus you two are funny.

  • Heidi says:

    “We see them as patronizing, condescending, disingenuous.“ Exactly! I totally agree. After drinking deeply from many HS bloggers and podcasters in the early years of HSing, I had to throttle WAY back on taking it in. All of it. I had learned enough ideas, and the rest was useless encouragement (to do a thing I was already convinced of??? It seemed silly to me). I do think the “blogosphere” and Facebook presence of Homeschool personalities lends itself to a popularity contest, though, to drive more exposure. It seems baked into the system. I find that whole process a little disingenuous. And I’ve seen the quality of content slip because of it.

    • Pam Barnhill says:

      Yes. There always comes a time when we have to stop reading about something and start DOING it. Agreed!

  • Sarah, mom of 9 says:

    Amen!

  • Kelsey says:

    What I like is having the variety of good homeschool advice. Personally I need someone to tell me to be consistent because that matters, and I also need someone to tell me that my best efforts, with God’s helps, is all my children need. I am enough when I make my best consistent effort. Therefore Pam Barnhill mixed with Sarah McKenzie works very well for me!

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