Achieve Big Things in 2025: Goal Setting Made Simple

Pam Barnhill [00:00:01]:
Are you ready for homeschooling to feel joyful again? Do you long for support as you learn alongside your kids? Welcome to Homeschool Better Together, a podcast about building a homeschool experience that works for your family. I’m Pam Barnhill, and it’s time to step out of the overwhelm and into the wonder. Let’s do this. Hello. Hello. And welcome. Welcome. I am joined today by miss Laney Homan who is the member success manager here at Homeschool Better Together.

Pam Barnhill [00:00:39]:
She helps all the homeschool moms kinda get it all figured out, and that’s kinda what we’re gonna be talking about today. We’re gonna be talking about goal setting for 2025. I don’t know, Lainie. I don’t know that goals necessarily make me feel like I’ve got it all figured out. How about you?

Laney Homan [00:00:56]:
No. They certainly don’t make me feel like I’ve all got it figured out, but they do help me at least pretend to have a direction. Is that is that good?

Pam Barnhill [00:01:07]:
I like that. I like that so much.

Laney Homan [00:01:11]:
I just if I just am going through my day to day and just accomplishing everything I have on my to do list every day, I may not actually be getting where I want to actually go. If I don’t know if I’m speaking too vaguely or in too too much generalities or not, but I have to have at least kind of a road map that says these are the things that I want to be moving in the direction of. And my goals help me do that.

Pam Barnhill [00:01:40]:
So I think that’s so important because I think you’re so right. I think the and we’re just gonna jump right into it. But I think the thing is, for moms especially, is there is so there is an overwhelming amount of life being thrown at us all the time. There are all these things that we have to do and all of these people that we have to care for. And, you know, especially when you’re a homeschooling mom, now you throw the entirety of your children’s education on top of you, and you have a house to care for and then just people and relationships. And, you know, as my kids have gotten older, volunteer work and just all of this stuff is this this big swirling overwhelming mass of stuff, it’s just for lack of a better term. And so I think you’re right. Without the intentionality of setting just a few goals, it’s so easy to get overwhelmed and caught up in everything that you’re just surviving every single day and never finding a way to thrive.

Pam Barnhill [00:02:41]:
And I do think that setting a few simple goals is kind of the way I can bring a little order in you know, that kind of walks beside me in the chaos of my days.

Laney Homan [00:02:54]:
Yeah. Absolutely. I think you know, one of the things I tell my adult children this question comes up sometimes whenever they see that I’m doing something different with my younger kids than what I did with them. And sometimes it’s in jest and it’s like, oh my gosh, you would have never let us, you know, or something like that. But the answer to this question, whenever it comes up with them, is always the same. And that is, well, hopefully, I am continuing to grow as a human, and I am not the same person I was, like, my oldest, for example. I’m not the same woman that I was when I was your 21 year old mom. Yeah.

Laney Homan [00:03:25]:
Like, you know, my younger kids have a different mom in a different place and time in her life. And, hopefully, by the grace of god, I have continued to grow and develop as a human and hopefully be sanctified by my Lord and savior during that time. So it looks different. But that is something I want to constantly strive for, is to continue to grow and to be intentional in that growth rather than letting life just happen. And what I have discovered through experiences, when I don’t take the time to intentionally craft a goal that helps to set a direction or a heading that I want to move in, then life does just happen. And all of a sudden, I look up and I’m like, where did the year go or where did the time go? And I don’t feel like I have grown or really even moved. I’m just kind

Pam Barnhill [00:04:19]:
of

Laney Homan [00:04:19]:
stuck. And I personally really like the feeling of being able to look at having accomplished something that I worked towards. And so that is really kinda how I got involved in goal setting. Haven’t always been, like, a super intentional goal setter, though I have always kind of been a planner. So they’re a little bit different.

Pam Barnhill [00:04:43]:
Okay. So tell me, how do you think they’re different? Because I’m gonna have to think you you just threw that at me and sprung it on me, so now I’m gonna have to, like, noodle through that. But what do you think? How are they different?

Laney Homan [00:04:53]:
Well, I mean, I think when I when I plan, I say, oh, I’m a planner. You know, maybe I have a paper player and stickers and pretty pens and all this stuff, and I sit down and I plan out all the things I have to do in a week. Some of that just happens naturally. Right? We were just talking about all the things that we have to do as moms. Right? I have to educate my kids. I have to feed the people. I have to keep at least a semblance of a queen house. There are just things that have to be done.

Laney Homan [00:05:15]:
So when I’m planning as far as, like, that’s just kind of, like, a to do list, but then I’m taking those to do’s and I’m I’m plugging them into, oh, we’ve got these 3 appointments on this day, so this is not a good day to do this activity. And that so there is a sense of, like, actually putting activities and responsibilities into a specific time of my week. And I am not, like, a scheduled person where I have everything planned out to the minute by any means, but just having that overarching view of my week of these are the things that need to be done, and this is kinda when they’re gonna be done. That’s planning to me. Mhmm. When I’m working through just my everyday life, That can happen without a whole lot of intentionality as far as, like, that direction that I was talking about going. But in truth, if I want to, like, grow in God’s word, and I know well, it is really important to me to spend time reading the scriptures, then, you know, what does that look like? I want to be able to make sure that I set a goal for reading through the word. I know it’s really popular goal to read through the Bible in a year.

Laney Homan [00:06:26]:
But 2 years ago, I decided I wasn’t gonna put a time frame on that. I was just gonna set a goal of let me read through the Bible. Because so many times, I would set, like, a I’m gonna read through the Bible in a year, or I would go through, like, with a particular app or a particular podcast or something. But then I would get behind, and so then it would fall off because I wasn’t achieving that goal. Whereas, when it was just more of this directionality that I wanted to move in, and I could say, I really wanna read through all of scripture from Genesis to Revelation, then I could just do that and I could build that into what I was planning. But that goal was something that then gave me a vision for where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. So it becomes a part of how I plan my week because I know it’s important to me. But without that, like, really intentional thought, it would just be laundry and dinner and cleaning the bathrobe.

Pam Barnhill [00:07:25]:
You know? Bathroom. There’s tons of Yeah. Like we were talking about. So planning is, like, taking care of the stuff that you have to do. Like, it’s not going away. You have to you have to take care of it. And then

Laney Homan [00:07:37]:
I have to figure out when I’m gonna do it. Yeah.

Pam Barnhill [00:07:39]:
I think yeah. You have to figure out when it’s gonna happen. And then goals, you know, setting goals is is like, you know, kind of adding that extra layer on top of that, which I know sometimes just feels it’s like, I don’t have time to set goals. But if you don’t make the time to set goals, you know, then it becomes like, that stuff is never never gonna get done. Right. Okay. I can see the difference. Yes.

Pam Barnhill [00:08:03]:
I’m liking that. I’m gonna noodle on it some more. Something may come out of that, but you know you know me. So you have actually accomplished some pretty big things this year. Yeah. So, you climbed a mountain. You are I mean, like, quite literally climbed a mountain.

Laney Homan [00:08:23]:
Far out of my comfort zone.

Pam Barnhill [00:08:26]:
You you ran your first half marathon Yes. With at the beginning of the year, like, you were not a runner.

Laney Homan [00:08:33]:
Oh, no. I Pam, we were walking on the beach. Right? Like, at the beginning in January of 2024, I was at the beach with Pam, and we were I was, like, I I need to walk while we’re here. Like, you know, right now, I’m doing really good to get, like, 8,000 steps in every day. And I was walking, and that was it. Only walking. And, you know, we we had some longer walks and great discussions about goals and other things that we were wanting to accomplish in the year. And I noticed that week, actually, when I got home, I looked at my step counts and I was like, my step counts are way higher while I was at the beach than they are at home.

Laney Homan [00:09:18]:
And I kinda pondered on that. Now, yes, I had more free time because I wasn’t having to prepare my meals and feed my kids and all the things. But, really, the crux of it had nothing more than to do than I love walking on the beach. And I was like, if I can walk, you know, 15,000 steps instead of 8,000 steps because I’m on the beach, I can do that at home. I just have to be really intentional about it. And then so one of my goals was definitely a health goal. I wanted to lose some weight. I wanted to be more active.

Laney Homan [00:09:51]:
That was kind of one of the steps in losing weight. You know, I really just wanted to kind of explore what it meant to be more healthy this year. And as I got really comfortable upping that step goal, I started, you know, wanting to kind of, like, walk a little bit more. But then I was cut short on time because I was like, well, if I wanna put in more miles, but I don’t really have more time to walk, so what does that look like? Well, that’s gonna mean speeding up a little bit. So then I began to slowly jog, and it was actually a conversation I had with you. I believe we were talking about atomic habits, and we were talking about, like, that small 1%

Pam Barnhill [00:10:33]:
increase. Percent.

Laney Homan [00:10:34]:
Yeah. And, like, what are the things that we can do that are really tiny? And that, like, just big picture for goals, that has been the key to all of this is breaking it down into something so tiny. But that idea of what could I do to for a 1% increase. And I was like, well, if I’m walking 10,000 steps a day, a 1% increase would be running a 100 steps. And that’s where I started, was running a 100 steps. And let me say, when I say run, I should really, like we’re talking slow jog, ladies. Slow jog.

Pam Barnhill [00:11:05]:
Sometimes I can walk faster than I can run. Okay? Actually, I don’t run anymore. I’m not gonna lie to anybody. But if I did, I could walk faster than I could run.

Laney Homan [00:11:17]:
But that’s where it start it started with this goal of wanting to move more because I wanted to be healthier.

Pam Barnhill [00:11:25]:
Yeah.

Laney Homan [00:11:25]:
So it gave me a direction. And as I was able to move in that in these little baby steps along the way, that’s how it started. Now, of course, the whole climbing a mountain thing came from my kid, not from me. And many of you have probably heard that story, but one of my sons decided to hike the Appalachian Trail in 2024. And close to the middle of his journey along the trail, he asked his father and I if we would like to hike the final mountain with him, so that we could be there when he got to the top and to the, like, his big finish on the Appalachian Trail, which is a 22100 mile trail. So we were, like, okay. Sure. And I had conversations with him, like, do you really think I’m capable of doing that? And anyway, so then it became this, I really wanted to meet him at the top of that mountain.

Laney Homan [00:12:12]:
And then I had, like, this really big why, and then that kind of snowballed into training and and doing that stuff. But it it honestly, it all started with just that initial goal of wanting to move a little more. Because if I hadn’t started losing weight and I hadn’t started moving more, I would have never even entertained the thought that I could have climbed a mountain. So I

Pam Barnhill [00:12:38]:
had a little bit of

Laney Homan [00:12:39]:
momentum from that very specific intentionality, and I was like, well, I was able to do this, and that was not ever anything I thought I could do. So then it was like, I was able to at least wrap my head around doing something much larger. And so, again, then we trained really hard to climb that. My husband and I both climbed Mount Katahdin in Maine with my son as he finished the Appalachian Trail, and it was definitely the hardest thing I have ever done. I don’t have a desire to do it again, but I’m really proud of myself for the work that I put in to do it. But it was, again, it was that intentionality of setting a goal of just kind of being like, wanting to be more healthier. And then that ended up leading to the half marathon. Because I live in Kansas.

Laney Homan [00:13:25]:
That’s very flat. You don’t train to climb a mountain in Kansas.

Pam Barnhill [00:13:29]:
Yeah.

Laney Homan [00:13:30]:
The half marathon came because I was training to climb a mountain, and I wanted to train for endurance. And so I began a half marathon training plan. So I actually ran my first marathon or half marathon. Sorry. I have not run a marathon. I ran a half marathon, Like, I believe it was 2 months after we climbed Mount Katahdin in Maine. And it was great fun. Like I said, my kids did it with me, my adult kids, and then my 14 year old also joined us on that track.

Pam Barnhill [00:13:55]:
And it it all came from walking on the beach with me. It’s awesome. I’ve been only taking credit for this.

Laney Homan [00:14:03]:
You should. I mean, because that you know, but just conversations with Pam, like, conversations with you about just walking and wanting to be more healthy, and these and having somebody that I could share my goals with and talk about what I wanted to do, that a 100% led to these things. And it’s been a great year. Like I said, I feel like I have grown so much, not only in my health, which is I’m far healthier now than I was then. I still have a long way to go too. Like, let’s not pretend I don’t.

Pam Barnhill [00:14:31]:
But Yeah. And and I’m gonna say, so, like, I started out the year not with the quite the same ambitious goals as Lainie, though I do feel like yours kind of rolled, you know, rolled in. And then I have not had the the same success that you have with, like, health related goals. Now I’ve had success with other goals, but I’ve not, you know, I’ve not had the same success. So, hopefully, like, in 2025, you’re gonna inspire me to, you know, like, work on some of my health goals. But I had a big habit goal that I was working on this year, and that was the fact that my evenings were basically and these are 2 are tied together, if I’m honest. But my evenings were spent basically vegging out, like, just completely and totally vegging out. And so one of my goals this year was to actually start doing something in my evenings and not just defaulting to the television set or scrolling on the phone or something like that, vegging out.

Pam Barnhill [00:15:30]:
And I still do that. Don’t get me wrong. And, especially, like, one of one of the ways that Olivia and I spend time together is we always find a show to watch. I mean, that’s just, you know? I mean, we do puzzles and other things like that. Sometimes we do puzzles while watching shows, but that is, you know, one of the ways that she and I actually connect with each other. You know, we don’t go shop or get our nails done or anything like that. It you know? But I wanted to make sure that especially on the nights where she was off somewhere else, she was doing something else, that I wasn’t just vegging out in front of the television, that I was, you know, doing something with my time. And so I actually started some hobbies this year.

Pam Barnhill [00:16:09]:
And, you know, by the end of the year, I had set myself up a hobby space and had started working on those hobbies and was actually spending my time doing something. And it was from actively working on that habit goal that I got into that now I can say this is something that I do.

Laney Homan [00:16:29]:
Right. Well and I think that’s so important because it goes back to that intentionality that we were talking about. You know, setting a very specific intentional goal and then having that develop and grow throughout the year rather than just letting your evenings pass by. Like, then you had something that you were, like, really focused on being intentional about. And so I think that is, like, that’s such a beautiful thing. And it doesn’t just have to be I mean, the ones we think about often are, like, oh, health goals or losing weight, that kind of thing. Sometimes it is, like, reading the Bible. But there are other, you know, there are other ways that I I like looking at different categories of my life, like, the different roles that I have, and seeing, like, what is it that I want to, like, work on this year?

Pam Barnhill [00:17:12]:
Right.

Laney Homan [00:17:12]:
Where am I? How am I doing? And what do is there a place that I need to grow or put my attention into? And I love the fact that you identified, like, a space in your day to start with. And you were like, okay. I feel like I’m not being very, like, productive or making good use of this time that I’m given. So Yeah. I’m gonna do something specific with that time.

Pam Barnhill [00:17:33]:
Well and it it came out too. And I think, like okay. So this goes so I have some questions about setting goals, and this goes to this idea of there’s a dissatisfaction here, but what can I do about it? And I think you’re right. I needed to get intentional about that particular dissatisfaction that I was feeling. You know?

Laney Homan [00:17:54]:
Yeah. That’s I I I guess I’ve never really thought about how So I’m pondering. And I I agree with that, how a lot of the goals that I set do come from areas where I’m unhappy or displeased with a particular aspect of my life, and I want to change something.

Pam Barnhill [00:18:15]:
And I think that’s slightly different than saying, okay. I should be spending my time more wisely. You know? Because when when I start thinking about it because I could think about it like that. And and there was probably a possibility at some point I did think about it like that. Like, I should be doing this. But when I should myself, then it seems like all of my actions come out of what’s the word I’m looking for? And they just don’t come from a very good place. They come from like, I’m beating myself up, and that’s where my actions are coming from. And so, you know, I I don’t get very far.

Pam Barnhill [00:18:53]:
Those are the things that I tend to give up on, and I I tend not to to continue with. But when I think, oh, there’s a dissatisfaction with this part of my life. I want to, instead of I should. I want to make you know, do something differently, make it better. Then I think that that’s where I tend to be a little more successful with setting my intentions. And I think we could call it setting intentions instead of goal setting if you wanted to. Yeah.

Laney Homan [00:19:20]:
Well, I it’s funny. You had a podcast not that long ago with Sarah Mackenzie, and she mentioned the

Pam Barnhill [00:19:26]:
book. Oh, the John Acuff book.

Laney Homan [00:19:28]:
So it’s All It Takes Is A Goal. And after I heard that podcast, I listened to it, and he he addresses that. How, like, when you set a goal because somebody else tells you you should, or when you’re letting society or what like, just the world around you, when you’re looking outside of yourself to set a goal that, you know, often it doesn’t stick, it doesn’t work, we’re not, know, we’re not as invested in it. But that it’s really important to figure out that for me piece. You know? And in the book, he was specifically talking about, like, different ways to track your progress. I think he calls them scorekeeping cards or something like that.

Pam Barnhill [00:20:11]:
Mhmm.

Laney Homan [00:20:11]:
And he was like, this might work great for me, but if it doesn’t motivate you, then that’s not the scorekeeping card you would wanna use. And I think that that’s really important for us to, kinda, separate the things that we take from the world, and we say, well, this is what we should be doing or how we should be doing certain things. Then if it’s not important to us, we often don’t make. Those are the things that we start and they fall off very quickly. But then, Pam, this is something that I learned from you. I mean, you’re not the only one that teaches it, but you’ve you’ve done a really good job, especially in the homeschool planning and that kind of stuff is, like, find your why. You know, is it why are you doing this and kinda dig into that a little bit more than just the surface level. This is what, you know, homeschool moms do, or this is this is what somebody else’s homeschool looks like.

Laney Homan [00:21:05]:
You always encourage us to, like, look at our vision and really decide why we’re doing something, why our homeschool looks like the way it you know, looks the way that it does. And I think that setting goals is very much like that when you are looking at making an intentional change or building an intentional habit, something along those lines. Knowing why you’re doing is really important. And if it’s just because you should or somebody else is telling you that it’s a good thing to do, you’re often going to stop doing that thing pretty quickly. Might kinda always resurface, but then so much of the time, we’re doing things driven out of guilt rather than just being able to do it. And I think that is never a healthy place to be. Not that we shouldn’t I mean, there are some things that we should just do even if we don’t feel like it. That’s that’s not that’s not what we’re talking about.

Laney Homan [00:22:00]:
But in the grand scheme of, like, choosing those intentions and where you wanna put your energy and focus. And I think it’s also important to say that, especially, like, as a wife and a mother, I’m not isolated. So and I want to make sure that what I’m doing is in alignment. What I’m working towards, how I’m trying to grow is in alignment with the things that are good for my family, that is in alignment with the the things that I believe that God has, you know, has prescribed for me in the scriptures, but also, you know, is directing me to do.

Pam Barnhill [00:22:33]:
Yes. So you’re leading me to the next thing I wanted to talk about, and that was and and I think this goes back to my example of doing something with my evening as well, and and maybe even some of your goals from the past year. So you’re a mom of 8. I have 3, and I’m thinking back. And probably a lot of my evening time activities stemmed from survival when I had a 7, 5, and 3 year old. You know? Like, I just got to the end of the day, and it was, oh my gosh. So that was probably not the right time for me to make myself that kind of goal. Right? I mean, I could’ve.

Pam Barnhill [00:23:08]:
I could’ve. But, you know, at that point, it was like, no. I’m just trying to make it at the end of the day. I’m just trying to have a few minutes of peace and quiet, please.

Laney Homan [00:23:17]:
That’s so true. I mean and my goal is exactly like that. You know, my youngest is 9. Yeah. And I have a 9 year old, an 11 year old, a 12 year old, and a 14 year old. Those are my youngest kids that are still living at home, and then I’m homeschooling. I can get up in the morning and leave to go on a run. Right.

Laney Homan [00:23:37]:
I can go run for 2 to 3 hours and not have to worry about toddlers getting up and feeding them. Like, they’re sufficient in the mornings. They get up on their own. They fix their own breakfast. They start their schoolwork. They do what they’re supposed to be doing while mom’s out for a jog. Yeah. And then when I come home, then we start our school day together, and they’ve already developed those habits.

Laney Homan [00:24:03]:
I’m not saying that we’re not in the habit training years for other things, but just those basic things, like, those we’ve worked on that a long enough time. My kids know what’s expected, and, and they typically do it pretty faithfully.

Pam Barnhill [00:24:18]:
Yeah. And and you can get up early because you don’t have a baby or a toddler or somebody who’s not sleepy through the night. So I think the important message here is you you really kinda have to work on goals that are in this you know, go with the season of life, to use that overused phrase, but to go with the season of life that you have. And so when you’re looking at, you know, what are the intentions for me for the next year? And this is why I love your, we’re not gonna do the bible in a year. We’re gonna do, like, the bible over 3 or 4 years. We’re just gonna read the bible and set the goal to, like, finish it at some point. I think it’s so important to look at that as you look at your intentions.

Laney Homan [00:24:59]:
And I think you have to you have to choose something that is realistic for your like you said, maybe it’s a little over overused, but your season of life, where you are, and then look at the ways that you can work toward that goal. Some of this has to really do with letting go of perfectionism.

Pam Barnhill [00:25:18]:
Oh, yeah.

Laney Homan [00:25:18]:
Absa because when you have a vision of the way something should look like or what you want it to look like, and you don’t actually take the time to say, okay, this is reality. Reality is I’m nursing a baby, I’ve got a toddler, and I’ve got a 6 or a 7 year old, and I’m up in the middle of the night, I’m not getting up super early. You know, what does that look like to develop a quote, unquote quiet time or to have designated time to read the Bible? Well, maybe it doesn’t. You know? What is it that you can do to build to set yourself up for success or to move in the direction of the goal that you want to move in in your current realistic circumstances? So maybe that looks like having your phone and reading the bible on an app while you’re nursing a baby. Maybe it looks like 3 or 4 minutes of reading the scriptures out loud to your kids during lunch while they’re all strapped in the high chairs or or seated and have their mouths full. Like, it can be those slow in in between moments where you’re progressively working towards something. But if we haven’t set the intention and we haven’t taken the time to think about all those tiny ways that we can move forward, then, you know, that’s when the time passes. And then I feel like, well, I haven’t done anything because I probably hopped on, you know, social media and scrolled my phone while I had a few minutes of quiet.

Laney Homan [00:26:44]:
I’m not again, I’m not saying there’s something terribly wrong with that whenever you’re in that brain space where you’re just totally exhausted. But often, it’s not because we’re totally exhausted and spent. It’s because we haven’t taken the time on the front end to actually think about how we could be intentional. Right. And so if you haven’t thought about how you could be intentional and you don’t have a handful of ideas about how you can work towards that goal in these tiny spaces in your day, then, you know, that time is gonna come up. Maybe it’s 2 or 3 minutes. Maybe it’s 5 minutes. But that time is easily going to be spent doing something that you don’t actually find meaningful.

Laney Homan [00:27:23]:
So, again, no judgment for somebody who is, you know, tired and scrolling through their phone. I have a timer I have a time limit on my phone every day for just mindless social media. Like, I, you know, I I do set that I set a limit on my phone so that it once once I’ve reached that limit, that it, you know, is done. But I think that whenever we just get into the habit of picking up things that maybe we don’t even find all that beneficial, then we kind of lose out on opportunities to move forward on things that do matter to us.

Pam Barnhill [00:27:58]:
I love that. And that goal so let’s let’s think about that, what you were talking about. It could be your goal that, you know, I am going to we’re just gonna keep using it. Read through the entire Bible. It can also be your goal that you set at the beginning of the year that you’re gonna try to read 1 verse a day or 1 chapter a day or 5 minutes a day. So, you know, there there are kind of these big goals, like, oh, I’m gonna lose £30. You could phrase it that way, or you could phrase it like, I’m gonna track my calories every day. You know? Or, you know, whatever the case may be, which the end result of that and this kinda goes back to how we teach about it in autopilot, put your homeschool year on autopilot.

Pam Barnhill [00:28:36]:
Like, you can set the goal. You could say, well, my my kid is gonna have the, you know, the multiplication tables memorized by the end of the year. But, you know, that’s a little hard one. We we say, like, don’t set that goal. You can’t guarantee that, but you can set the goal. I’m going to you know, we’re we’re gonna work on multiplication tables, you know, 4 days a week for 15 minutes at a time. And there’s a very good chance if you do that, you will get to that point. Right? And so

Laney Homan [00:29:07]:
And that’s that’s what I mean. But if you’re not intentional about that 5 minutes or 15 minutes a day for that working with that child on multiplication facts, they’re probably not going to just automatically learn their multiplication facts.

Pam Barnhill [00:29:18]:
It’s something

Laney Homan [00:29:19]:
to grow into believe me. Math must be taught. But I think that those are the ways, you know, when you’re talking about, like, maybe your goal is just to read 1 verse a day. And then that’s where, you know, take your goal and break it down. And then break it down smaller and break it down smaller and break it down smaller. Break it down until it is so small that it seems pointless.

Pam Barnhill [00:29:43]:
Not to do it.

Laney Homan [00:29:44]:
Yeah. That is where you are going to find your success. Yeah. That that’s where, you know, that’s the I’m walking a thou a 10,000 steps a day. I did not even start by walking 10,000 steps a day, which is okay. So that’s a great example though because ain’t that what they tell you? Like, oh, you should be walking 10,000 steps every day.

Pam Barnhill [00:30:05]:
In the days, they do.

Laney Homan [00:30:06]:
They they they’re not they

Pam Barnhill [00:30:08]:
are, but whatever.

Laney Homan [00:30:10]:
It’s very common advice that Yes. To be a healthy human, you should be walking 10,000 steps a day. But when I fur my first goal in walking was just tracking my steps. Like, how much am I actually walking? Maybe I’m supposed to be, you know. And again, this isn’t, like, if they’re telling me I should, it had to be important to me. Like, my health had to become something that was something that I wanted to improve rather than the proverbial they telling me that I should do it. But, you know, I had to break that down into what am I actually walking a day? And when I first started, I my step count was really, really low. It was something like 2 to 3000 steps a day.

Laney Homan [00:30:55]:
And that was, like, if I took a walk. But, you know, when I started, it was like, what can I do that is so small that I can’t really find an excuse not to do it? Mhmm. So then then that just grows. That gives us that helps to build that momentum. So don’t be afraid to set a goal that is so tiny and to, like, to break it down that it feels pointless because you’re, like, really? Am I ever but if you did truly read one verse of the Bible every single day and you continually did that, you would eventually read the whole of scripture.

Pam Barnhill [00:31:29]:
Eventually. And, I mean, you know, as far as I know, there’s no way I mean, maybe. Maybe somebody’s created an app that, like, shoots up a little notification that has your one verse of the day. But for most of us, we’re just we’re gonna open the Bible to read that one verse, and then what’s gonna happen?

Laney Homan [00:31:45]:
Right. Or you’re

Pam Barnhill [00:31:46]:
you’re a 1 verse. Or 3 or maybe a chapter or you know? Yeah. And so it becomes, and I’ve actually been toying with this. I was on YouTube not too long ago watching the video, probably in the evening when I should have been doing something else. But I get such good stuff. YouTube’s so much fun. The girl was on the video, and I can’t remember where it was or what it was, so I’m not going to link to it. But basically, she was saying, like, make it your goal just to put your put your shoes on if you wanna go for a walk.

Pam Barnhill [00:32:12]:
And I’m like, oh, that’s so good because okay. I hate shoes. And even more than I hate shoes, I hate socks. Like, those are the worst things ever invented. I was one of those highly sensitive kids, like, the seam in the sock and turtlenecks and the tag. Everybody thinks this has been invented recently. Nope. I’m old, and I had it.

Pam Barnhill [00:32:35]:
And so if if I got up and put on my shoes and socks, I could see that as a motivator to go walk because I think that’s the hardest part for me is putting my shoes and socks on.

Laney Homan [00:32:47]:
Well, just it’s that extra step that is the barrier between you walking out that front door and not. Right? If you’re barefoot. I’m actually convinced the no shoes and socks thing might just be more of a southern thing. I didn’t start wearing shoes and socks until I moved north where it was cold.

Pam Barnhill [00:33:06]:
Well, my slippers right now, I’ve had them on all day. Haven’t put on anything else because it is a little chilly here. Yeah. Maybe so. And, you know, people would say, well, you could walk around the block and and I have. I’ve gone walking around the block in my flip flops. But now I’m getting to the age where that’s just not good for my feet.

Laney Homan [00:33:25]:
Getting old is so much fun. I it really is. I think that’s, you know, that’s so true. Like, when I first started walking, I was walking a short enough distance just right quick around the block. I could easily walk that in my sandals. Right? And then as I but I couldn’t really run-in my sand like, there was the longer I started to walk, I needed better shoes to walk in. So it mean it’s just again, going back to the whole concept of goal setting, just break it down into something that’s super tiny because maybe that’s your first step in in walking is do I have a pair of shoes I can walk in? Or do like, can I just put these on when I start my day so that it that’s not the hindrance? Some people say they like to lay out their workout clothes the night before or just like these little tiny things that kind of remove the resistance?

Pam Barnhill [00:34:15]:
Remove the resistance. Yeah.

Laney Homan [00:34:16]:
Yeah.

Pam Barnhill [00:34:17]:
And then I’ve I’ve noticed something about me recently when it comes to tracking. So I I had noticed just quite accidentally a couple weeks ago, and since then, I’ve totally blown it. So just just FYI before I’m gonna preface this story. But I had gotten up to, like, I don’t know, was it 8, 9, 12 days in a row on my Hallow app with praying every day. Now I pray every day. I don’t necessarily always pray every day with my Hallow app. Right? But I had gotten up to that point, and it was telling me, like, oh, you’re on a, like, 12 day streak. You’re on a 13th.

Pam Barnhill [00:34:54]:
And I’m like, oh. And so I do a little habit tracker in my planner, but it’s a weekly habit tracker, and I fail miserably at it almost every single week. But I’m wondering now if it wouldn’t be better to have something, like, with a big long so I could really see the streak. Yeah. I wonder if that would be more motivating to me not to miss a day by having this, like, really

Laney Homan [00:35:22]:
Long.

Pam Barnhill [00:35:22]:
You know, because you can only get 7 days on a weekly habit tracker. But if it Right. Had, like, 30 or a 100 boxes to check off, would that be more motivating? So I think the lesson here is to find something that motivates you. Like, how everybody’s like, oh, track your habits. It’s motivating. But I don’t think tracking my habits weekly is is actually doing the job. But I think maybe seeing this long streak might

Laney Homan [00:35:47]:
I have I track my habits monthly, but I’m at that’s another thing that I just fail abysmally at actually filling it out and tracking it. So then I, like, go back and I look at it, and then I’m trying to remember. Did I do it this time?

Pam Barnhill [00:36:01]:
Do it. Didn’t I do it?

Laney Homan [00:36:02]:
And then there are some ways, like, I can look at my app for my fitness, and I can see the days that I met my 10,000 step, you know, goal or whatever. Like, I I can see that. But I can’t I can’t necessarily have something that I’m, like, tangibly tracking to see all of the different, you know, things that I want to make sure that I do. Like, oh, wait. Did I do this? I can’t remember. Maybe I did. And then I get all up in my head about being perfectionistic. I don’t wanna mark something that I incorrectly.

Laney Homan [00:36:32]:
So then I just leave it blank. Like, I’ll leave the whole week blank because I didn’t mark it every day the way I should. So I’m still working on trying to figure out how to accurately track my habits. I even set a timer, like, an alarm in my phone that goes off at the same time every day to help me remember to, like, actually mark my habit tracker, and I ignore it. I it’s just not it it It’s Yeah.

Pam Barnhill [00:36:57]:
It’s a comeback to your voice. Yeah. I I kinda have a couple of alarms that I ignore after a while. I will say, though, so one of the things that has really helped me is I started a new practice last year, and I ended up calling it goals and grace. And it’s basically so I found this lady. Her, I will link. I’ll go look her up and link her. I can’t remember exactly what her name is.

Pam Barnhill [00:37:19]:
I haven’t watched in a while, but I found this lady on YouTube who was, like, setting up, like, a whole productivity binder on index cards. And I just love index cards. I they’re probably one of my favorite office supplies. Like, you know, they’re better than post it notes. I’m just gonna come right out and say it. But I I found her thing, and I’m like, oh, this looks intriguing. This looks interesting. And and I watched, and I’m like, I’m never gonna do that.

Pam Barnhill [00:37:45]:
But there was something that I really liked about the idea of putting some things on index cards because what I really liked about what she did was she would flip through the index cards every day, and that was how she would plan her day. Now I couldn’t make some of the systems and some of the things I needed fit into that system, but I really loved the tangible thing of flipping through the cards every single day. And so I started using a set of cards in conjunction with my planner, and I started writing my goals on the cards. And so for me, the tracking time, like, I sit down with the planner, with the cards every single day, and that’s when I can think back to yesterday. And it’s pretty easy, less than 24 hours to remove, to go, did you walk? Did you use your prayer app? Did you clean the house? Did you whatever. And, like, actually mark that. Did you drink your water? That was a little harder, but, yeah, you know, did you pretty much were you intentional with water yesterday? That’s what it boils down to

Laney Homan [00:38:49]:
for ages. I started my year because we kinda we had talked about this together again last January. I I also started a deck of index cards as well, and I think we used them a little differently. I had 2 different types of cards. Number 1, I wrote out my goals on index cards and kinda had a, like, one goal per index card. And then I also and this came from a book. I’ll have to find the author and give it to you so you can link it, but it was it was a book I think the title of the book is just prayer. Well, I’ll have to get the book for you.

Laney Homan [00:39:24]:
But it had kind of a prayer system, and he used index cards to set up, like, specific prayer requests for different people. And that was actually one of my goals for 2024 was to, like, develop a deeper and more intentional prayer life. And so I made kind of using this book as an example, I made an index card for each person that I was praying for and then wrote very specifically the thing you know, very specific things that I was praying for for these individuals. And I really, really liked that because rather than just, kind of, blanket praying over all of my kids, I was being far more intentional about the things that I was praying for each one of, kind of my people. So I had those two kinds of cards there. But every morning when I woke up, I would just read through my goals. Mhmm. Because that’s one of the things that they say is, like, why we quit working on our physical system, quit looking at them.

Pam Barnhill [00:40:21]:
Right. Yes.

Laney Homan [00:40:23]:
Even though I have a planner and I, like, really intentionally spend a lot of time thinking about what I wanna work through and what I wanna do, it’s really easy to put that book on the shelf and then not pull it back out. And then, you know, come February or March, I haven’t really thought about it. So having on those index cards, I would just read them every day and just keeping on the front of my mind would make it so much easier for me to actually make, you know, decisions throughout my day that would be more in alignment with the goals that I had set. And same thing with the prayer cards, I like I would take those sometimes even on my walk and then I would pray through each card. So those having those cards was kind of like a portable way to take something with me.

Pam Barnhill [00:41:09]:
So one of the things I like about the cards too, and you mentioned this, is, like, you’re gonna put the book on the shelf. I never put my planner on the shelf. It’s always open, but it’s always open to this week. Right? And so I’m not and the goal section is, like, somewhere else. And so I didn’t, you know, it was forgotten. It was forgotten in the front of the planner. And I might, like, flip to it every once in a while or something, but by having the goals on the cards. And one of the things that helped me so much, and we haven’t really dabbled too much, talked too much about it, but we we talked a little bit about just goals and then habit goals.

Pam Barnhill [00:41:45]:
I also had project goals this year. That was another thing that was so helpful to me was to take big projects that I knew I wanted to accomplish this year and make a goal card for those. And then I would break those down by quarter. So this quarter, I want to accomplish this, and this quarter, I want to accomplish that. And even with some of my other goals, I would break it down by quarter. Then and this was this was the key. I would flip over on the back of the card, and I would write the next best action at the top of the card. What was the thing that I needed to do next? Was it buy a new pair of running shoes? One of my project goals this year was our anniversary trip, and there were a couple times where I thought this anniversary trip wasn’t gonna happen.

Pam Barnhill [00:42:29]:
It was our 30th anniversary. We wanted to take a big trip, and there were just all these things that had to fall into place for us to be able to take this trip. And so all I had to worry about was the next best action. And it was written. I would write it on the back of the card. Then as I was sitting there, tracking my habits every morning with my planner, I would flip through my cards and I would flip over the card and say, okay. What is the next thing I need to do to be able to meet this goal? Can it go in the planner this week? You know? Yeah. And then, eventually, it would get put in the planner, and then I would cross it it would get done.

Pam Barnhill [00:43:05]:
I would cross it off, and then I would look at the goal. Every morning, I looked at that goal, and I would say, okay. Well, that was done. So what’s the next best thing that needs to happen? And I would write it on the back of my card. And a lot of times, I’d put a date. Like, this needs to happen by this date. And then I would cross it off when I got done with it. So it became a system because, you know, you can slide them into a pocket.

Pam Barnhill [00:43:27]:
I have a number of little pockets in my planner. I don’t know if you do or not. So I could just slide them into the pocket in my planner, and then I could take it off in the morning, take it out in the morning, and then flip through and write the you know, it became part of my planning process every single day, but I was looking at that goal every day, and that was huge.

Laney Homan [00:43:49]:
Right. Well and I think that’s part of it. When we when we take the time to set those intentionalities, if we don’t actually have a way to keep them in front of us and to continually think about them, then that’s when they just get set on the shelf. But, you know, a metaphorical shelf and Yeah. Art and then aren’t being, you know, pursued or looked at any further. I mean, I’ve had years where I I set kind of a goal or an intention for something, and then I’ll look back a couple months later, and I don’t I don’t even remember what goals I had

Pam Barnhill [00:44:17]:
Right.

Laney Homan [00:44:18]:
Like, it’s not just that, oh, I’m making choices every day not to pursue that. Like, I really legitimately don’t remember. Life is happening. I’m like, what was it I was gonna do at the beginning of this year?

Pam Barnhill [00:44:27]:
It goes back to the beginning of the conversation. All of that stuff, all of the overwhelm, like, it creeps in and it just takes up all the empty spaces, and you’ve forgotten about the intentional things that you wanted to do.

Laney Homan [00:44:42]:
Right. So I do it take takes a little time. So I have a question for you. So when do you start first of all, I don’t think there’s anything magical about the new year. I know, you know, it’s it’s not a like, oh, I have to do this. But when do you start thinking about what you want to accomplish, you know, in a year? Or do you have a set a set time period in your in your year where you’re like, okay. I’m gonna work on looking at how I’m going to intentionally prepare for my next season.

Pam Barnhill [00:45:12]:
Chronological clock that starts ticking about in October, which is like like that’s when the the feeling bubbles up. You mean, you know, like, the back to school feeling from when you were a kid and you went to public school and every, like, you know, you’d get that. And the Sears and Roebuck catalog would come with all the back to school clothes. Am I, like, I’m totally dating myself, but that was the thing. Right? All the best backpacks and all the school supplies. And I had the same you know, I get the same thing about October for, like, thinking about and you’re right. There is nothing magical about the new year. And my goals do change.

Pam Barnhill [00:45:45]:
I mean, that is the thing with my card system is it does need to be maintained. Like, I mean, I have had, like, where I’ve crossed out a card and wrote, like, new new goal needed. Like, I’ve totally changed what my goal was during the year or how I was going to go about meeting my goal or, you know, something like that. So it does need to be maintained, but I do get that urge in October to start thinking about the freshness of a new year. I don’t know. There’s just something about everybody’s like, oh, you don’t have to. Yeah. But it is it’s so much fun to do it.

Laney Homan [00:46:17]:
It is fun to kinda feel like there’s, like, a clean slate ahead of you, I think. But I’d I would just encourage, you know, people not to wait. Like, that’s Oh, yeah.

Pam Barnhill [00:46:25]:
You’re listening to this in July? Like, now is the perfect time.

Laney Homan [00:46:29]:
Yeah. Exactly. Well, I because I always kinda get that feeling in October. I it’s it hits me about the same time, usually late October, and I’m starting to kinda

Pam Barnhill [00:46:38]:
look at because you and I start talking about it.

Laney Homan [00:46:40]:
I know. We start. So the Voxer starts to lighten up. But I think like, last year in particular, I did this. I was like, but I there’s so much I can take action on right now. Like, there was no need to wait until January. Yeah. And so I was able to kind of, like, even start to just slowly building momentum so that I already had, you know, some things in place in my routines and habits before January we got around.

Laney Homan [00:47:07]:
Because, you know, when we in October, we still have, like, a whole quarter of the year left.

Pam Barnhill [00:47:11]:
That’s true. And, you know, we start we we start talking about this, like, after March. Like, between March and the end of May, it’s like, that’s not a bad time to, like, test something out in your homeschool and to see if it’s something that might actually you know, you could you could pull something out for that last little few months of your homeschool, test it out, see how it goes over, like, is this something you think you’re going to be able to maintain? Is this something you think is gonna be beneficial to your kids? And if not, then boom, kick it to the curve at the end of the school year. But if it is, you can roll it into next year’s plan. So I think, like, March to, you know, the end of May is the perfect time to test things for your homeschool. It could be the same thing. I mean, now is the time to get in there and kinda, like, run a test run of a few different things, like, see what’s gonna work. And then if you get a head start on something that you make an official goal in January, like, more power to you.

Pam Barnhill [00:48:06]:
You had actually back to your health and weight loss goal. You had already lost quite a bit of weight by January.

Laney Homan [00:48:13]:
Yeah. And so when I started in 2023, I bought a goal planner, and I set some intentions. And it got set on the shelf, and I did not really, like, move forward in those goals at all. And then in September, I randomly just pulled it out again, and that’s when I started walking, was in September of 2023. So just walking. And then once I was, you know, moving a little bit more, I had started to lose a little bit of weight. And, you know, again, there was a there was a little bit of momentum that that kind of took me into that new year where yeah. When we got to the beach, I was like, I’m already like, I’ve already built up to this, and I wanna make sure that I’m not letting this slide.

Laney Homan [00:48:55]:
I wanna keep pushing forward and keep moving in that. And so I think that, you know, anytime you want to dig into a new goal is a perfect time.

Pam Barnhill [00:49:03]:
Yeah. I think it’s okay to get a runway and to work your way up to it. Because if you had just showed up in January and said, okay. This is it.

Laney Homan [00:49:11]:
Right. Well, I didn’t show up and say, I’m gonna walk 10,000 steps today, or I didn’t start with, you know, I’m gonna like, I I didn’t have. I just I had, like, smaller goals that was kinda incremental, and we’re able to just add to them and pivot. I think that’s the other thing is it’s really important not to hold on to something that’s no longer important. You can let it go. And that’s one of the things so for me, this is my personal I’m like, well, I’ve run a half marathon, and so I guess my next race needs to be a full marathon. But as I really started thinking about it, I was like, I actually don’t have the time to train for a full marathon. Like, I really don’t.

Laney Homan [00:49:53]:
I’m like, I know how much time it takes me to run. And, again, I’m very, very slow. So if I’m going to be running a half marathon just to to train for that half marathon or that I know that I have to have, you know, 2 to 3 hours to be able to jog every morning. I I don’t have that. Now I I recognize that if you’re in training, you don’t jog that distance every single day. Right. But, you know, consistently, like, do I have the time to go on a long run? And then, like, what end is that serving? Is this serving more than just myself? Is this serving my family? Is this something that we can incorporate together? When I’m running with my daughter or my son or I’m doing things that we’re gonna do as a family, that’s one aspect of things. But if all of a sudden it switches for me where it’s just like this personal, like, I’m just this really driven to do this, but I’m taking time away from educating my kids because mom is out jogging rather than sitting at the table teaching them how to read.

Laney Homan [00:50:50]:
That’s a problem. And so it has to do with that kind of alignment. You need to make sure that your goals are lining up with the other areas of your life. And so, you know, for me, I’m like, I’m gonna set I I did these things, and they have moved me in a really great direction. But I’m also looking at pivoting for how can I continue to maintain my health goal and continue to lose a little bit of weight and get healthy and stronger, but not be training for long runs and long races? Something that I can, you know, that will better serve my family in the meantime. And it’s not that I have to give up on my personal goal, but that I want to make sure that the things that I’m doing every day are in service of my family and then primarily in service of God, and he gave me my family. So I know that that is always going to be a primary area of focus for me.

Pam Barnhill [00:51:47]:
Yeah. Pivoting, I I think, is a big thing. And and that’s why I think it’s, you know, it’s big for me just, you know, coming back around to seeing them every day, but, also, you know, I’d like scribble them up. I write. I make notes on them. Like, this needs to like, we need to change this or this needs to be a little different or I cross through stuff and then revisiting them at least once a quarter and kind of shifting them, you know, to what they need to be. So if if you’re interested in, setting some goals with Lainie and I this year, we would love to invite you to join our elevate program. It is open right now.

Pam Barnhill [00:52:26]:
I’m trying to think of the date when this is going to be released. It is open right now. On January 2nd, we have a word of the year workshop. And so you heard me call my cards goals and grace. The word of the year part was where the grace part came in. Those 2 kind of feed into each other. And if you’re listening to this after January 2nd, no worries. The replay of the workshop is going to be up and available.

Pam Barnhill [00:52:50]:
And then Elevate will be open until 10th of January. You can get inside, and we’re gonna be having our goals and grace class where I show you how to set up your own cards and how to use them on 15th of the month. And then once a quarter we’re going to revisit those cards and have some conversations about how are you meeting your goals? What do you need help with? What do you need to pivot on as Laney just brought up? And, you know, how do we need to update our cards going forward? And it’s gonna be a whole year long process, and I am super, super excited about it.

Laney Homan [00:53:25]:
Yeah. I’m really excited about, you know, doing this with other people. I think it’ll be a lot of fun.

Pam Barnhill [00:53:30]:
Oh, yeah. Accountability is huge.

Laney Homan [00:53:33]:
The community is

Pam Barnhill [00:53:34]:
Community. Other people that

Laney Homan [00:53:36]:
to to encourage you along the way and to kinda help you. I it’s it’s really a fantastic part of setting goals.

Pam Barnhill [00:53:44]:
I love it. Well, Lainie, thanks so much for coming and chatting with me today. And, hey, keep going. It’s been great to see your progress, and I look forward to seeing what’s gonna happen next year.

Laney Homan [00:53:53]:
Alright. I’m looking forward to it. Talk to you later.

Pam Barnhill [00:53:57]:
Bye bye. That’s our show for today. Be sure to follow, subscribe, and leave a review so you never miss out on the wonder of homeschooling better together. To stay connected and learn even more about the homeschooling better together resources and to join our free community, visit hsbtpodcast.com. Until next week, keep stepping out of the overwhelm and into the wonder.