As homeschool moms, we often fantasize about getting time alone. It can be so hard to be surrounded by our peeps day after day after day after day after day.
It seems like life is always loud and chaotic, there is usually an argument to referee or a kid to discipline, and someone invariably spills their drink.
And while it’s often not too terribly difficult to get alone time by LEAVING the house (to go shopping or whatever), it can feel like we never get time alone IN our own house.
We dream about putting the kids in school just so we can have some peace and quiet and can concentrate on cleaning the floors and setting out seasonal decor. (Or, if you’re like me, you would kill for time to recline on your you-know-what and read a book!)
Many of us say to ourselves that if we can just hold on, soon one of them will be going to the local high school; and that will be one less person to have to deal with.
Because many, many moms have no plan to homeschool past middle school. The light at the end of the tunnel is high school when the kid is no longer theirs to teach, and they can begin to regain some control of their environment again. FINALLY.
Well, I’m here to tell you that peace and quiet are overrated.
I know this because three of my five kids were away at college last year. Did I have more time to do things for myself?
Yes. Was the house more tranquil? Of course. Was it the glorious thing I had thought it would be? Absolutely not.
I must admit that I MISS the chaotic, crazy, everyone-underfoot lifestyle that is homeschooling a large family. This year I will have ONE left in our homeschool. ONE. I think I might go crazy.
You might not believe this now, but the homeschool high school years are the MOST FUN homeschooling years you will ever have.
Why? Because your kids are old enough to be fairly responsible about staying on top of their own studies, and they are capable of having conversations that don’t revolve around who farted at the table. Um, sometimes, anyway.
Just take a second to think about the alternative. Putting your teen in the public school means you WILL be getting up in the wee hours to make sure they get to the bus stop or to shuttle them to school yourself. Day after day after day, hello.
Then there are all the practices and activities and HOMEWORK. If you think life will be easier and less chaotic after you put your teen into the high school outside the home, think again.
By contrast, during the high school years, the homeschool lifestyle actually relaxes a bit. Your teen will probably want to sleep in, so you’ll have the benefit of having fewer children to deal with in the early morning.
Then when the teen wakes up, you can enjoy some almost-adult interaction with someone who thinks a lot like you do, which is always gratifying.
Or you can do damage control if they are tending towards bad attitudes or a harmful worldview. The reasons you homeschooled during the elementary years are even MORE important when you’re dealing with a teen.
They are thinking deep thoughts in these years — you will want to be there to help them work through to the other side. You won’t agree on everything, but you can guide them towards something you can at least understand and support, even if you don’t line up 100% on the same page.
Put them in a school away from home and someone else is taking on that role for you. Are you ready to give it up?
(Read this for why I think character development is more important than academics: Our Main Reason for Homeschooling: Character Development.)
If you’re worried about Chemistry and Trigonometry and British Lit, have no fear. There are all sorts of options you can pursue to get those taken care of, or even to set them up so that your teen teaches them to himself.
Your time commitment can truly become more and more minimal as the high school years progress.
And then there’s the fact that you will still have basically free (yet somewhat capable) labor to help with those floors and other chores around the house. And with the littles. And making lunch or dinner. This is not to be taken lightly, I assure you.
And once they are driving?? Wow, now you won’t have to take the youngers to the library every single week. Grocery shopping can become a lesson in life skills — while you stay home taking a nap planning lessons.
And your kid could get a job during the day and be home with you in the evening, so no worries about them being out at night, and no more requests for money all the time (that last one is pretty huge, y’all. Just sayin’.)
You don’t want to miss these things:
When you hear your teen giggling over Shakespeare as you pass by their bedroom? Priceless.
When they want you to see their latest gizmo, work of art, or guitar lick? You’ve got a lot more chance of that happening when they are with you in the comfort of home, with plenty of time to pursue their interests.
The homeschool lifestyle is about following paths of learning that excite us. About the family encountering deep truths together. About conversation and debate and hugs and yes, even spilled milk.
Why deprive your teen of this wonderful thing? Why deprive yourselves of their presence as the rest of you explore the creek or discuss Alexander the Great?
Why bring the stress of someone else’s expectations into your home? The homeschool lifestyle is about each family deciding for themselves what is best for them. You are the mom; you know your teen best. Why think it would be better to have someone else telling you what they “need” or “should do”?
Lemme tell you something — what your teen needs is love and hugs and a safe place. The outside world will encroach soon enough. Allow yourself to keep them awhile longer.
And in the meantime, you just might discover that a little chaos is what makes the world go ‘round. That the noise and the mess is music to your ears and proof of a life well-lived. And of a family that learns together and loves one another.
And that your teen should have a place there still.
HUGS!!
P.S. My book can help you know exactly what you NEED to do to homeschool high school — and how to make it all happen without ruining your kid’s life. 🙂 Check it out here: Cure the Fear of Homeschooling High School: How to be Sure You’re Not Missing Anything.
- Homeschooling High School with Youngers Around - July 26, 2018
- Homeschooling High School? Priceless. - January 18, 2018
- College is not the only option for your homeschooled teen. Really. - November 30, 2017