Pin
Pinterest Hidden Image

I am joined on this episode of the podcast by homeschool mom and fellow introvert Jamie C. Martin. We are chatting all about how to do group learning in your home when mom just needs a little less noise and maybe a few more breaks. Though aimed at introverts, there are tons of tips here for extroverts too!

Pam: We’re also modeling to our kids what it looks like to take care of yourself and, and in today’s like overworked stressed out anxious society. That is like a powerful example to set. So I always say to moms, if you can’t do it for yourself at first, do it for your kids because they’re watching. And that way you can say, you know, yes, mommy will be there. And just five minutes, I’m just sitting down to read my Bible right now, or I’m just reading a few pages of this great new book. So then you’re also modeling, learning for them. So it really, it gives dividends to everyone in your
homeschool, not just to yourself.
This is your morning basket, where we help you bring truth, goodness, and beauty to your homeschool day. Hi everyone. And welcome to episode 95 of the Your Morning Basket podcast. I’m Pam Barnhill, your host. And I am so happy that you are joining me here today. Also joining me here today on this episode of the podcast is Jamie Martin from simple homeschool and the introverted mom.

I am long overdue and having Jamie on the podcast to talk about how do you do morning time with a bunch of kids around you at once if you are the kind of mom who really longs for a little bit of quiet and solitude. And so we are going to be talking to introverted moms today, but if you are that extrovert who still sometimes struggles with this, we’ve got some things for you in this episode of the podcast as well. Jamie’s going to be sharing some tips and strategies for you.
We’re going to be giving a little bit of permission for things that you might do that you might have thought were bad things in the past as a mother, but no, they’re not. They’re just really good survival tips. And Jamie also has a quiz for you that you can take to kind of find out where you fall on this introverted extroverted spectrum. Now also on today’s episode of the course, we’re going to be talking about mine and Jamie’s at brand new course that we’re doing along with Colleen Kessler, from Raising Lifelong Learners, the course is called homeschooling with purpose and Jamie and I are going to be giving you kind of the ins and outs of that one. It’s releasing June 24th of 2021, and it’s going to be available long after that. So if you’re listening to this one on down the road, be sure to go back and check for it because it’s still out there and you can find out more information about it homeschoolingwithpurpose.com and with no further ado let’s get on.
Jamie Martin is an introverted mom of three who loves books, tea, and people, but not always in that order. In 2010, she co-founded simplehomeschool.net and in 2020 began the website introvertedmoms.com. Jamie is the author of four books, including Give Your Child the World, which reached number nine on Amazon’s top 100 bestsellers list and her latest release, Introverted Mom is an ECPA bestseller. Her work has been featured by LeVar Burton of Reading Rainbow, the Washington Post, Parents Magazine today, Parenting and Psychology Today. Jamie, welcome to the podcast.
Thank you so much,
Pam. I’m always excited to be with you. Well, I am so happy you’re here. And so it’s no secret. I am a huge introvert. So you are like speaking my love language when we talk about introversion. And I think one of the things I want people to know today is like, there’s something for extroverted moms in this podcast too.
So if you’re an extroverted mom, don’t feel like you need to turn it off. I think some of the things that we’re going to talk about are things that are applicable for every homeschooling mom. But yeah, you are like speaking my love language with all this talk about introverts.
I think really it’s the same, you know, it’s really the same advice that we just need to hear over and over again, which is that whatever way you’re wired is the way that you can homeschool successfully. So that applies whether you’re an extrovert listening to this or an introvert. I think maybe sometimes the reason that introverts need the reminder more often is because we do tend to still be in kind of a society that seems to outwardly value extroversion and the characteristics that go with it a little more than introversion.
Yeah. Okay. That’s a great explanation. It doesn’t matter if you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you still need to hear the message. It’s okay. To homeschool. Like you need to homeschooling like seek out the things that are good for you. So yeah, I love that.
Okay. But I’m getting ahead of myself. So let’s start by you telling us a little bit about yourself and your homeschool.
Sure. Well, I have three children right now. They are 17, 16. Oh my gosh. I was about to say and 15 but hejust turned 16 too. So, so right now I have two 16 and a 17 year old, but no twins, my oldest and youngest, we adopted internationally. And so for half of the year, my biological son who’s in the middle and my youngest are the same age. So I get confused sometimes, but yes, so we have been homeschooling the whole way through for 13 years. And it has been a wonderful and crazy and sometimes scary and terrifying journey. Just like everyone who’s listening can probably identify with in some way we are homeschooling both neuro-typical and children with special needs, including things like ADHD and autism spectrum and developmental delays, attachment issues. So because of that, our style of homeschooling has been focused around really relational connection, which I know is something that you talk a lot about Pam too. And for us, that was just a necessity that was brought to light because of the fact that we were adopting. So we really needed to focus on attachment and relationships, but out of that has grown a style of homeschooling that has really been a blessing to all of us where we just, you know, if anything gets in the way of the relationships developing, well, then we also know that’s not a great atmosphere for learning either. And it’s been a really present reminder to kind of focus on what matters most.
Oh, I love that. So you guys, you may not call it morning time, but you have had periods of family learning together, right?
Oh yes. Always. We have always called that breakfast school and say, that is our time in the morning while the kids were eating breakfast, which is how that name originated. And at first it was just because when they were all eating, they were a little quieter than other times of day. So that made it helpful for, you know, read alouds or, or whatever it was that we wanted to be doing, which has definitely changed over time. As you know, from preschoolers to elementary, to middle to high schoolers, we still do that a couple of days a week. And I love that time. It’s like a centering time before everyone goes their separate ways. Now that they’re older. And so it’s definitely a foundation that we come back to.
Oh, I love it. I love it. So breakfast school, it sounds like something like Hobbits would actually really, really
It’s like, if you want to get fed, this is where you come to get your body fed and to get your mind fed too
oh, even Better. That is awesome. That is awesome. Well, Jamie did, did you always know you were an introvert before you started homeschooling?
I think I knew theoretically, but I never thought much about it. I had taken a personality test at first when I was in high school and I always talk about how it was never a big pressing need or like something that was thrown in my face until I reached motherhood because up until that point, I could regulate myself. So the whole ideas that introverts recharge through time alone. And so let’s say you’re in high school, you spend all day at school and then you come home and you need like a few hours of quiet before you are ready to go into another activity. And the same for college or even really early job life.
But then when motherhood came into my path and we went very quickly from one child to three children, they were all really close in age, like I mentioned. And that’s when I really reached a breaking point because I could no longer count on that time or even sometimes, you know, find a way to fit it in. And also because I didn’t have the understanding completely of what it meant to be an introvert.
I mean, I just thought, oh my gosh, I’m so bad at this new job, this new role. And I’m not enjoying it. Like I must be a horrible mother. And that’s why I’m so passionate about this message and making sure it reaches introverted moms. Because I think with that understanding earlier, it would’ve made so much sense what I was going through.
It was actually, yeah, it was very, it just made sense that I would feel that way instead of being some kind of flaw on my part. So really having an understanding earlier about what being an introverted mom means, what have allowed me to make the time alone that I needed a priority. And then it would have made my experience different even, even in this challenging. I mean, we have challenging seasons, no matter what, when we’re mothering little ones, but it still would have given me an understanding of myself that I think would have enabled me to be a little bit more compassionate towards myself. And that would have benefited my kids as well.
Oh Yeah. Yeah. So I can remember when I found out I was an introvert and I was actually a school teacher at the time I was teaching school, which let me tell ya, not an easy job for an introvert. But I went to, it was, it was for my Sunday school class. I went to this event where basically she did a little introvert/extrovert, personality test kind of thing on it. That was the only part we talked about. And then she lined us up in like a horseshoe shape and she put like the bigger, your introvert number, the closer you were to one end and then the bigger your extrovert number, the closer you are to the other.
Wow.
I was number three from the introvert in, And there were all these Other people, including like the, the girl who was a fellow teacher with me who shared the same classroom with me. She was like almost all the way at the other end. And she was like, there’s no way that that’s where you go. But it made so much sense, you know, because I would go home from school. I mean, I’m not a shy person. I don’t shy away from talking or like giving my opinions or, you know, I speak in public for goodness sake, but I would go home at the end of the school day and I would just absolutely crash.
Yeah. And so I had that knowledge that was before I started having kids, I had that knowledge and actually it actually impacted my decision to leave teaching and go into another job where I was in more control of my schedule. And then, you know, once I became a parent, I had that knowledge ahead of time. So I think it was so helpful to me to realize that these little kids that were clinging on me and the fact that I didn’t want them clinging all the time, didn’t make me a bad mother. It was just like my purse, you know, I just needed that space a little bit at certain times. Yeah. So I could see how that would be really hard if you didn’t realize what the introversion thing meant. And then you’re struggling with these feelings as a mom.
Yeah. Yeah. And I love what you’re saying there, that you, you knew that it didn’t have to, like, it didn’t reflect poorly on you because you knew I do these things. It doesn’t mean that I’m shy. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like being around people. It just means that eventually you reached that limit where you’re like I’m done.
Right. Right. Yeah. And it usually exhibits itself in extreme fatigue.
More than anything else. Right. I don’t know if you’ve, if you’ve like had that experience. Oh, absolutely.
Yeah. When you’re done peopling, you’re tired.
Yeah. And I think when we, because sometimes we still, as moms, especially won’t pay attention to that extreme fatigue. And then it expresses itself in like blow ups and shouting where you’re like, oh my gosh, this is not at all like me. I had that experience, which I share in my book that I threw a glass across the room that shattered in my bedroom. And I mean, I was alone at the time that that was so unlike me that it was a huge wake-up call because it was like, oh my gosh, what has happened to me? And what do I need?
And so that’s one of the reasons why we have to learn and then pay attention and honor our limits because then we won’t reach that place, which is not good for anyone. So it’s not just about us. We do it for our families too.
Oh, I Love that. And you know, and so often we think about self care being something that selfish, but really my self care is for your benefit.
Yes. I have like these introverted mom manifestos, and one says like, my time alone is for everyone’s safety or something like that.
I love it. Okay. So let’s talk about homeschooling specifically. How can homeschooling be a different experience for an introverted mom?
Yeah, I think it just, it goes a lot back to that limit-hitting place where you’re going to be surrounded by people and what drains introvert is people time. So that doesn’t mean that you don’t like people or that you don’t love your kids because you do, but compared to an extrovert, you’re going to hit that limit sooner. So things like the noise might bother you more.
If everyone’s talking at once, that might bother you more. And you’re going to hopefully start the morning with like a full fuel tank, if you have slept well, which is not a given either if you’re a mom, but then like just your mornings going to go on. And, and that fuel tank is going to get lower and lower and you’re going to need to refuel through having a little break before you can continue.
So that’s why I would encourage. And I always encourage, and this is the way I structure my day as well, introverts to look for probably like two breaks, two short breaks, one in the middle of your homeschool morning and one in the middle of your homeschool afternoon before your day ends, whatever your school hours look like. And even if that’s like five minutes, five to 15 minutes, that will make a huge impact. And it really is true that we don’t just do that for ourselves. We’re also modeling to our kids what it looks like to take care of yourself. And, and in today’s like overworked stressed out, anxious society. That is like a powerful example to set. So I always say to moms if you can’t do it for yourself at first, do it for your kids because they’re watching. And that way you can say, you know, yes, mommy will be there. And just five minutes, I’m just sitting down to read my Bible right now. Or I’m just reading a few pages of this great new book. So then you’re also modeling, learning for them. So it really, it gives dividends to everyone in your homeschool, not just to yourself.
I love that. I’m just hiding in the bathroom, eating a few chocolates. I’ll be there. Sorry.
Yeah. Some, I mean, some seasons, the bathroom is the best place because of the lock on the door. I love it.
I love. Okay. So let’s talk about this in the context of morning time, because as I’m hearing a few things from you here, and I know it’s true because of myself, like if I’m going to get all my kids together to do something in a, in a situation that’s going to be noisier, there’s going to be way more interaction between people that I’m having to see and deal with.
For me, it has to happen when I have my most energy. And that’s why for me morning, time really is morning time. Even though we tell moms, you can do it at any time of day. I think for the introverted mom mornings might be best.
Yeah. I mean, I, I don’t know, because I guess I didn’t really know what introverted night owls what they would say, because I’ve never been one of those.
Maybe do it first would be best. Right?
Like even if that means that’s 11 in the morning instead of nine or something, if that’s when you know that you, maybe our friend Colleen Kessler would probably say that, right? Because she’s an introvert, but she is a night owl. So yeah, whenever you know that you have the most energy, that’s probably your best times. So for me, that’s definitely breakfast school. You can just tweak that to adapt it for what you need and, and enjoy most. And I would say that for me, it also impacts the types of activities we do during our morning time, like reading aloud or listening to audio books or something like that works really well, because then I’m mostly in control like that ever happens. But I like to think that I’m in control the majority of the talking and, and that is good for me. If everyone starts talking at once, like it’s just game over because I have a very short like tolerance for that. And also things like videos have been really good for us.
So I know Pam that you’re a fan of CNN 10. We watched that all the time with my teens and have for several years now. And that’s so great for so many reasons because we actually start off with that. And that way, while the kids are eating their breakfast, I actually get to eat mine too. Prior to that, it was like, I didn’t want to eat before. I wanted to take advantage of the time when they were eating and quiet. And so this way I get to actually eat breakfast too. It’s such a novel concept. And then, yeah, so some kind of videos, like there’s been times we’ve done like crash course or crash course kids, things like that have worked really well for us.
So I think you’re, you know, you’re also tweaking the content of your morning time. And sometimes you, you try things out because you don’t know how, how they’re going to go. Right. So don’t be afraid to try things out and to pay attention just because someone else’s raving on social media, that they love doing this with their kids during morning time it doesn’t mean it has to look that way for you.
Yeah. Yeah. I think so too. Now, do you, and do you ever do anything like I’m trying to think, so we sing in our morning time, that’s something we do quite a bit. And then sometimes I don’t know when the kids were little, we did more art and then they just got to where we just want to do our own art thing. And so they do art and morning time, but they do their own art thing. So did you find it easier or hard to do that kind of stuff in yours?
Yeah, I would definitely say hard. And, and that was something that I just found worked better like one-on-one or independently. Also, one thing I noticed is that as my kids got older, they just wanted to do their own thing and not necessarily be around the table together. So over time, our morning time has gotten shorter from like maybe taking an hour during like those prime elementary to middle school years to like tapering off. Whereas now we do it just a couple of times a week and they’re shorter so that the kids can get off to their more individual studies.
So I think that’s something that, you know, it’s fun to see the seasons change, but then there’s also like a little bit of nostalgia there because sometimes I do miss those days where we like have a stack of picture books and we’re all around the table or, you know, I was reading poetry and things like that. So it’s nice to know that even though there were also days where like child A is biting child B or child C falls off the chair that I actually do have these sweet memories of the times that it worked.
And it’s nice to know those are the ones that stick with you. So look forward to that. If you’re in the middle of the, by the biting or falling off of chairs phase, it’s kind Of like childbirth. You just remember the good, the good stuff afterwards. Yeah. Right, Right. Yeah. Our brains are so great. Yeah. They are.
And that kind of brings back my next question. It’s like, you do it two times a week now, but you haven’t dropped it altogether. So there’s obviously something there.
So, oh my gosh. I just can’t bear the idea of like, not gathering with my kids and doing like a read aloud. So even find that the types of books that we do now that they’re older are different. They’re like shorter. And because it’s, it’s just twice a week, then it’s also like, it can’t be a cliffhanger where a chapter leaves us, like on the edge of our seats, because we’re not going to get back to it. So yeah. I find that even the types of books I pick vary a little bit, but yes, I just can’t bear to, to think of not doing it at all.
Yeah. Yeah. Well, and it goes back to those relationships you were talking about. It’s so easy. I think as teenagers for the kids to just start going in their own directions and doing their own things and, you know, having that touch point a few times together really helps with that, those relationships in that community.
Yes, Absolutely. Another thing that we’ve done to varying degrees, like sometimes more regularly, sometimes a little less is we have a prayer bowl on our dining table that we filled with like people and countries and issues and causes and our neighbors names. And so we will choose slips of paper from the prayer bowl and, and our morning time with like everyone going around and praying for whatever they chose out of the prayer bowl.
And that has become, especially as the kids have gotten older, such a precious ritual that I just adore. And it has been another thing that has worked really well for me as an introvert, because it gives us like a purpose that everyone gets a chance to share a little bit. And I’ve just really loved that. Oh, I love it too.
And they’re not talking over each other. They’re each day, taking they’re turn. I love It. What do you think that the overwhelmed, introverted homeschool mom needs to hear most? Like if I’m going to let you just tell them one thing, Jamie, what, what would that be?
I think that they need to hear that who you are is exactly who you need to be. And that’s true, whether you have, you know, all extroverted children or all introverted children or a combination of the two. And like we said earlier, that really is what extroverts need to hear. It’s the same, it’s the same message. But the other thing that jumps out at me is if you are in that place, like, like my terrible day where I threw this glass, or even just a slightly lesser version of that, but you can tell that you are just, you’ve gone beyond your resources, take a break, like right now, even if you can, if not, then, then make sure you fit it in like as soon as possible, because you are a really wonderful mother, but you just need to make sure that you have the resources to continue giving out and, you can’t do that. You know, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Like people say so right now, if you’re that overwhelmed, introverted mom, that’s what you need. And you will be amazed at how quickly you start to come back to yourself. Sometimes I feel like, oh my gosh, I just don’t recognize like, who is this person looking at me in the mirror.
And then, you know, I take 30 minutes or an hour to go read or take a walk. And then I’m like, oh yeah, I do like my life. And I do like my kids and I am doing okay at this. Sometimes we can lose our perspective. So this is your Jamie given permission slip to go take a break if you are that overwhelmed mom right now.
Okay. So I was gonna, I ask you, what does take a break mean? Does it mean like take a week off homeschooling or, but you’re talking so it could be an hour with a book. It could be a week off homeschooling. It’s really Whatever you need, right?
Yes. I think it, you know, it has a lot to do with how long you’ve been pushing past your refueling mark, that internal intuition where you just can sense like, oh my gosh, I’m about to go off the deep end or I have gone off the deep end, but a mom’s potential to keep going and push past that is kind of incredible. We can just continue. And, and sometimes we live like that for like a year or more.
And so if you finally have this realization that that’s you, then you might need to like, say kids, we’re not gonna do any homeschooling this week and or longer, you know, you might need a period of Deschooling where you just focus on relationships for a while, because you’re also focusing on getting back to that full instead of empty place.
Otherwise I think, yeah, it’s such a variable answer, which I wish, you know, we could just say like, oh yeah, just take 15 minutes and you’ll be totally fine. But I always, what what’s hard about it is that there’s always the sense of urgency. And we always look around and see more that needs to be done. And that’s why I do this for myself.
And I encourage other introverts to do so as well. Like make your break a part of the homeschool schedule, like approach it the same way you would, you know, spelling with your son because it is that important. And, and often we will, we will allow ourselves to do tasks, but we won’t allow ourselves to do something that is for ourselves.
So making it feel like a task, I know sometimes, you know, we could sit down and say, okay, I know the laundry needs to be done. And I can do that as soon as I have sat here and read for 10 minutes. Right. So then you’re turning it into, you’re kind of gaming your brain to think of this as another task.
And if that’s what works to get, you started, then, then use that, you know, whatever, whatever you need and whatever you think will work best for you.
Yeah. Yeah. I love this. Like put it on the checklist, put it on the checklist and Mystie Winkler and I were both int J’s and we joke about like, we have to put like smile at the kids on the checklist and it’s totally okay to put, take a break on the checklist, you know?
Yes. And I call my, I call mine because calling it take a break. It’s still feels too self-indulgent. So what I do, I’m on our homeschool list, I call it study hall and it makes me think of study hall, like back in high school where it was time, it was kind of free time. But then you kind of had an objective to maybe you were going to read or you were working on something, but it was like you were working on something that was for your brain. Right? So this is, I approach it the same way. So by calling it study hall, it just, it helps me to give myself permission. Like, oh, I’m not just doing nothing. I’m sitting down here because for me, reading is one of the things that fills me up. And I don’t mean just reading because like reading how to have a new kid by Friday, that’s like more like work reading. Right? So I’m talking about the type of reading that, that fills you up, which is definitely two different things. So it helps me to give myself that permission. So that’s what works for me. So sometimes you have to kind of just work and try a few things out before you figure out what works for you.
I love that idea. And you and I are both huge fans. If anybody wants to know what kind of reading fills you at Jamie and I are both huge fan of the Mitford books.
Yes. And so that, that would be exactly. If you haven’t read, Mitford go pick it up. There’s a whole series you can read forever and ever, except I’m done. And I’m going to have to start again. Yes. I know this year I’m actually doing, because there’s 14 Metford books now by Jane Karen. And I’m said this year, I’ve made it one of my self care goals to read like one a month. So it’s going to take me through like this whole year and a little bit of next year and oh my gosh, that’s just been such a gift. It really is. It’s like, it’s lighthearted, but not fluffy. You know, that makes sense. And so it really is. It’s like the best I always call it. Like, it’s like chicken soup for the soul kind of thing. It is.
But it really, it has more depth, I think, than chicken soup for the soul. Yeah. We actually had this big debate in Schole sisters internally. We never talked about it on the air or anything about whether or not these were living books.
And the conclusion that we came to was they were totally living books.
Oh my gosh. Yes. And I actually didn’t mean chicken soup for the soul of the book. I meant like literal chicken soup, which is where that came from. Yeah. So comfort food. It’s like comfort food for the soul, but like nourishing comfort feed as opposed to dunky comfort food.
I love It. Yes. That’s exactly how I would describe it. So that’s what you can read if you’re looking for something read during study hall, but I wanted to ask you, do you call it study hall for your kids? Is that like, or is it just on your schedule? That’s really what I call it for me. My son calls it like reading hour for his time, but really like, it’s not something that my kids are necessarily doing any more at the same time that I am back when, when they were younger, we called it, drop everything and read like in honor of the, the Beverly Cleary concept. And then we would all gather together. Cause that was the only way I could get my break is like everyone bring your individual books. And we’re just going to sit in this one room for 20 minutes and read our individual books, including mommy. So yeah, so we called it that, but now it’s really for myself that I call it study.
Okay. So as like one Question after another. So you had everybody come together in the same room to do their quiet reading. I know other people like Dawn Garrett, my community manager did quiet time in her homeschool until her kids were well into their early teen years. Like, you know, tweens and right into the teen years, she has three who were very close together in age. She made them all go to separate Rooms.
So yes, we would do that too. We would do that two in the afternoon, like after official school hours, quote, unquote, everyone needed to have like their own afternoon time, whether it was an hour or I think some seasons, you know, two hours, but it wasn’t necessary. Like you could do anything as long as it was quiet. And so that was a little bit different to our drop, everything and read, which was just for reading and us all together. And sometimes that worked well and sometimes it was a total crazy town, you know?
So like, oh, sneaky, Because you have managed to put two introverted breaks in there for mom.
Oh yeah. Big time at least to, oh my gosh. The great thing about having your kids get older is that now it’s so much easier. Like it’s not like now we have official afternoon quiet time anymore, but everyone kind of, there’s like a rhythm to the day. And after a while that just everyone follows and falls into that cadence. Right? Yeah. So my daughter, you know, always says like, isn’t it time for your introverted mom nap? And I will go out, he’ll try to leave the rest and close my eyes upstairs. And then they do their thing.
And there’s not as much, there’s not as many interruptions. So, you know, if you’re in the trenches right now, which I have been there for many, many years and know that like, that promise land is coming one day.
Okay. So that begs the question because we’ve kind of been talking about this a lot from the vantage point of moms who have older kids. Let’s talk a little bit to those moms who have a lot of little kids right now. And they’re like, these women have no clue what’s going on in my life.
Actually we do. It’s just been awhile. What do you say to the mom? Who’s like, she really needs a break and she can’t get one.
Yeah. I would say that you can get one, if you really decide that you deserve one and it won’t work like rocket science at all, and some days it won’t happen. But if you begin to set that intention for yourself and for your kids, it is totally possible. I mean, I did that. I’ve always done it. So whether it was like trying to coordinate people’s nap times, or even if they weren’t napping, you know, they still knew that, well, this is your time. You can play in the playpen. Here’s the few toys. And if you just are aiming for it, then at least some days you’ll, you’ll hit the bullseye. Some days nothing will, nothing will go. Right. Of course. But it is totally possible.
The other thing I did, I wrote a post years ago, it was called “Why I use TV as a babysitter.” And it was one of those things about just how I didn’t have any family in the area. Neither did my husband. And so I think it’s very legitimate to intentionally use screen time to give yourself the break that you need in the season. And at the time it’s definitely like a guilt complex that can be.
But what I, what I’ve seen is like that season, which feels like, oh, this is gonna last forever. And then my kids will be older. There’ll be addicted to screens. And it doesn’t have to be that way at all if you’re just really using it strategically and intentionally. And I did that because I just knew I had to in order to keep functioning and, and it worked for us then, and I did have time to myself really in, in every season, of course also doing things like trading off with your spouse could be a solution. I think, you know, there’s no one like prescription, except that you have to get that time because it’s, it’s a must for you as an introvert. And so it’s not just about you, it’s about everyone and about giving everyone the best version of you that you can be and you need quiet in order to do that.
Well, I’m so glad you said some of what you said, because I think first of all, I read that post years ago. Thank you very much. And you know, there’s so much mom shaming, that’s tied and that idea, and you have, mom’s like, oh, you know, my kids never watched TV and you’re like, I’m like, how In the world do you stand your house? If you’re, I never sit down and watch something on TV, like, how are you even functioning at the end of the day, I would have been a blubbering mess on the floor when my kids were, six, four and two, if I had to put on, you know, Disney junior or something like that or PBS for them. And so, yeah, it’s okay. It’s okay to do that at the end of the day to get dinner made and to get just a few minutes quiet.
Yes. Or even in the middle of the day. I remember someone, I can’t remember who, but I do remember reading a post on someone’s site where she talked about how at lunch, they would watch a show while they ate their lunch. And it wasn’t like an educational show. It was like something that she found fun and the kids found fun too. And that was like their break in the middle of the day.
And I was like, oh my gosh, that is brilliant. There was also a season where I would let the kids watch like 45 minutes of something educational in the middle of our homeschool day. And that was the only time that I had for my writing for a season. And that worked too. And again, it was just for a season and yet all of those minutes added up, like they always do. And so, yes, I think it’s very legitimate to use it in whatever way you need for, you know, it might just be, you need it to, for two younger kids because the older kids are doing something else anyway. So yes, just brainstorm. What’s going to work for you in the current season that you’re in.
Well, I wanted to highlight the TV thing because, you know, I think it’s so important that moms hear the message that that’s okay sometimes if you need that. But the other thing I want to go back to is you have to make it intentional and it may mean training the kids, but you have to understand that this is something that’s necessary, and, and just like an extrovert for them, it’s necessary to get out and to be around people sometime, you know, our good friend, Sarah Makenzie says, it’s not enough for me just to be around my kids. I’ve got now and be around up people and other people sometimes. And so just like that’s necessary for the extroverted mom as well.
So you extroverted moms don’t feel guilty about that. Don’t feel guilty when you’ve got to leave the house to seek out some mom friends to be around just like we are introverted moms don’t need to feel guilty when we kick everyone out of that home alone.
Yes, exactly. Absolutely. A hundred percent.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, do you have any other resources, I know you do, for the introverted mom out there.
I do. I do. I absolutely do. One thing that comes to mind immediately is I made it a quiz for my site, Simple Homeschool. And it’s called what’s your homeschool mom personality. So for those of you who aren’t sure am I an introvert or an extrovert, maybe you see signs of different things at different times, this quiz can help you figure it out. And then after you complete it and get your result, I have created a free personality report. That’s just like maybe five or six pages, but it gives you ideas about how to structure your homeschool in a way that’s going to work for you, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. And also it gives pointers for whether you’re raising introverts or extroverts ideas that you can use with them as well.
And you can find that simplehomeschool.net/quiz. And then of course my book, which came out a couple of years ago, Introverted Mom: your guide to more calm, less guilt and quiet joy. And in it, I really merge my thoughts and experience about introversion with also the work of four introverted authors, who I adore. And they are Louisa May Alcott, Ellen, Montgomery, Jane Austin, and Laura Ingalls Wilder, all introverts and, and we kind of discuss introversion through their life, through their work. So it’s really kind of tribute to literary love as well. For those of you who loved those ladies too.
And then a year or so ago, I started my membership site that is called introvertedmoms.com and that is a community where people can come and get refueled in a community that works for introverts because it’s not an in your face where you have to be there, but it is a great source of connection because loneliness can be an issue for introverted moms too. So it’s introverted, friendly connection as well as we have, we work on habit help we work on homeschool support and we have interviews and zooms with experts and personality and authors and all sorts of fun things. And that you can find out about that introvertedmoms.com. So lots of support and love for my introverted and fellow moms out there.
Oh, I love it, love it. So many places to go. And that quiz, because if You are a person and you’re just not sure where you’re kind of falling on this spectrum. And so often we get confused about, you know, like I said, introversion is not about being shy. That’s not what it is at all. It’s yeah. It’s, it’s something totally different. It’s about where you get your energy. And so going to take a quiz like Jamie’s is really going to help you start discovering who you are as a homeschooling mom and how you can work to kind of be the best mom you can be.
Absolutely.
Okay. Jamie. So I happened to know that you have another resource out there and not just for introverted moms, but for all homeschooling moms. And the reason I know this is because we worked on this project together and we managed not to kill each other. We actually had so much fun. We actually, we’re still working on this project.
We have had so much fun working on this project together. And I’m going to let you tell about it. I’m going to be quiet cause you know, I don’t normally.
Okay. Yeah, that means I get to, and now let’s make this fun announcement that Pam and I, along with our good friend, Colleen Kessler from raising lifelong learners have partnered together to create a course.
That’s going to launch the summer for the first time called Homeschooling with Purpose. And it’s designed to help you cast a vision, overcome the chaos and create a lifestyle of learning in your home. It’s going to be so fabulous because although you and I are both introverts, Pam, our personalities are still quite different. And one of the things that we wanted to show in this course was how homeschooling can work for you, no matter what your personality type providing that you just kind of tweak it according to what you and your unique family need best. And so it’s going to be such a fun resource.
I mean, every time I think about it, I’m like, goodness gracious. This really is the resource that I would have given anything to have found 13 years ago. Do you feel the same way?
Oh, totally. Like I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there. Like this is the thing that if I had had, and it had kind of walked through all the steps, it would have made me feel so much more confident and just ready to tackle everything in my homeschool. And then I could have revisited it over and over. I think that’s one of the wonderful things as well.
And you’re right. That when we thought about when we started putting together the idea for the course, that was one of the things we wanted to do is it’s easy for me to make a course for people who are like me. And it’s easy for you to make a course for people who are like you. And it’s easy for Colleen to make a course for people who are like her, but how much better is it that we can all get together and make a course that can really help so many different kinds of people. And I think the other thing about that is I learned so much from you and I learned so much from Colleen during the filming of the course, like over and over, I’m like, oh man, that’s such a good idea.
You know? Yes, I completely agree. And there were so many times I just wished I would have sensed the permission that we’re giving people to really lean into who they are. And that’s something that it took me years to figure out that like what, what I started to say during the course, and we were reflecting on is that there are a million ways to design a successful homeschool and zero ways to acknowledge that. And to believe that I think. And so having someone like the three of us to give permission for the people who are watching and taking our course, that that really is true. I felt like I was so often looking for, you know, the right way to design best to make sure that my kids aren’t gonna end up on the street or something like that.
And, and so there was so much fear involved and I mean, fear never comes from God and it never assists us in any way when it, when it’s related to creating our homeschool, right? And only ever gets in our way that insecurity. So I think that you’re right. That more than anything else, this is going to give people so much confidence in the way that they approach their homeschooling life.
I’m just so thrilled about it.
Okay. Yeah. Me too. I’m excited. I think it’s going to be so much fun. We’re going to do a live run of the course this summer, starting on July 6, you’re going to be able to like work through the course, live with us in a little pop-up Facebook group. And then, you know, if you’re an introvert, you would just want to get it and go at your own pace. You can do that too. Either way totally works. But if you would like more information about the course, you can get on the wait list and get some fun, little downloadable wallpapers for your phone and your computer by going to homeschoolingwithpurpose.com and we’ll have all that information over there for you. So Jamie, thank you so much for joining me here today. I really appreciate it. It was fun.
Oh my gosh. Such a delight to be here
And there. You have it. Now, if you would like links to any of the introverted mom resources that Jamie and I talked about today, or our favorite book series, you can find them on the show notes for this episode of the podcast. Those are pambarnhill.com/YMB95 also on the show notes. We have a link for you to the Homeschooling with Purpose course, or you can check that out by just going to homeschoolingwithpurpose.com. Get on the waitlist, get into the video series.
We’ve got a little mini video course. That’s going to be coming out for you and find out more information about this fabulous new homeschooling resource. Now, this is the last episode of the podcast for this spring season. And we will be back in July. We take a little hiatus in June every year to spend a little extra time with our families and get prepared, enjoy the summer a little bit, but we’ll be back in July with some new episodes for you and we have a fabulous fall season planned. So be sure to come back and join us again. Until then keep seeking truth, goodness and beauty in your home.

Links and Resources from Today’s Show

Give Your Child the World: Raising Globally Minded Kids One Book at a TimePinGive Your Child the World: Raising Globally Minded Kids One Book at a TimeIntroverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet JoyPinIntroverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet JoyMitford (14 book series)PinMitford (14 book series)

 

Key Ideas about Being an Introverted Homeschool Mom

  • Homeschooling is challenging for all moms, but introvert moms experience special challenges unique to them. One of those challenges is the need for quiet time to recharge which is not always possible when schooling kids at home. Understanding this need is crucial to remaining guilt free when you just need a moment to yourself.
  • Introverted moms typically hit their limit sooner than extroverted moms. Focus on recognizing your limits and prioritize breaks a few times a day so that you can refuel. By doing this you are also modeling for your children what it looks like to take care of yourself, which is an example they need to see now, more than ever before.
  • If you as an introverted mom realize that you have gone way past your limit and you are struggling to continue to give joyfully to your children, you may need to take a break. How long this break needs to be will differ depending on how long you have gone without taking one. So, take the time to refuel, guilt free. When you resume, make sure you find ways to prioritize your needs as a mom.

Find What you Want to Hear

  • 3:05 meet Jamie
  • 7:20 Morning Time, or “breakfast school” in Jamie’s home
  • 15:09 unique challenges of introverted mom’s
  • 17:50 tips for Morning Time for the introvert moms
  • 25:00 special advice for introverted homeschool moms
  • 35:35 advice for the mom of littles
  • 41:48 resources for introverted moms
  • 44:50 ANNOUNCING: Homeschooling with Purpose
Pin

Leave a Rating or Review

Doing so helps me get the word out about the podcast. iTunes bases their search results on positive ratings, so it really is a blessing — and it’s easy!

  1. Click on this link to go to the podcast main page.
  2. Click on Listen on Apple Podcasts under the podcast name.
  3. Once your iTunes has launched and you are on the podcast page, click on Ratings and Review under the podcast name. There you can leave either or both! 

Thanks for Your Reviews